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AbyssVentus

AbyssVentus

Lv13
2018-03-14 JoinedGlobal
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67
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    mate please, look up the correct moves please don't name them yourself. Oh, by the way its a shiny gastly

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    MI AVENTURA POKEMON
    Anime & Comics · AngelVillalobos288
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    I feel like you have written this in third person point of view

    Ch 23 Orochimaru
    altalt
    Naruto: Mekka Junrei
    Anime & Comics · angel_bastudas
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Start of every fan fic, cant you choose another place

    his parents got Married in Kalos, then moved to Kanto... guess where... Yes! the Pallet town.
    altalt
    Pokemon: A New Journey (Up for adoption)
    Anime & Comics · Idk_wqe2
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Osiris is also the god of the underworld

    From Osiris I had gained the Authority of Life, granting me a regeneration capable of healing me from the most brutal of injuries and the power to heal others from wound or disease.
    altalt
    The Campione of Marvel!
    Movies · GabrielRott
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    1. Starter: Tyranitar (Rock/Dark) - Land Powerhouse 2. Houndoom (Fire/Dark) 3. Hydreigon (Dark/Dragon) - Air Powerhouse 4. Greninja (Water/Dark) - Speed 5. Drapion (Dark/Poison) - Defence 6. Absol or Umbreon (Dark) - Always out

    Ch 6 Poll for team comfirmation.
    altalt
    Pokemon: Prince of Darkness
    Anime & Comics · Ethereal_Writer
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    When will his starter hatch from its egg?

    Ch 21 CHAPTER 20: SAMSON OAK
    altalt
    Pokemon: Creation and Adventures
    Anime & Comics · Jogarp
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    I don't understand that last sentence?

    "It is not normal for Alec to have been able to feel the emotions of the ninetales at such a distant distance, besides those images he saw, he would understand if it were some psychic pokemon, but Alola ninetales is not this case..., *sigh*, Professor Nirio, what is what you did with Alec?"
    altalt
    Pokemon: Creation and Adventures
    Anime & Comics · Jogarp
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Stop using "she"

    Thus, Alec became the housewife when she was in the professor's house, and his brilliant apprentice when she was in the laboratory.
    altalt
    Pokemon: Creation and Adventures
    Anime & Comics · Jogarp
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    sharingan mate get it right

      The first thing Tang Hao saw was Tang Zuo's Shalunyan. He felt a terrible aura in it, like a demon. Tang Hao used his soul power to see the true face of this Shalunyan. Item.
    altalt
    The Scarlet Demon Doulo Dalu
    Anime & Comics · dominant
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Powerhouses: Salamance, Tyranitar Tanks: Blastoise, Aggron Support: Gardevoir, Roserade All Rounders: Gengar, Krookodile

    Ch 1 Future Line Up
    altalt
    Wretched Fates (Pokemon Fanfic)
    Anime & Comics · ShadowDrev_
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    to OP should of made it Water Dragon Or Lightning Dragon instead

    [Devil Fruit: Mythical Zoan: Dragon Type: Dragon God]
    altalt
    Into One Piece
    Anime & Comics · Dark_Vader98
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Overall, it is a good story, but is your MC gender challenged? If not and he is a male use the words he or sorcerer which implies that he is a male. If your MC is a female call her something else not Ron and use she or Sorceress.

    Ch 4 4. Advertise on the board
    altalt
    A Witcher Tale: Ron Aydesson
    Book&Literature · Aydehan
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    a male is called a sorcerer and a female is called a sorceress, I am guessing your Main character is gender challenged?

    Ron would explode when he heard those words. He was finally graduating from Ban Art Sorceress school and eagerly awaiting the next words.
    altalt
    A Witcher Tale: Ron Aydesson
    Book&Literature · Aydehan
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Translation

    Ch 1 1
    altalt
    REINCARNATED IN NARUTO WORLD : WITH SYSTEM
    Anime & Comics · MADARAUCHIHA
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    I think seperate it into two different magics for basic magic Storm God Slayer & Storm Devil Slayer Than call it Storm Demonic God Slayer Magic as a fusion

    [A/N: Ideas on what to call it?]
    altalt
    Fairy Tail: Eye of the Storm
    Anime & Comics · Angel_Extinction
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Please don't make him her slave this is getting repetitive with him constantly losing. He is a Demi-GOD with MAGIC he should at least be able to get out of these sort of situations.

    Ch 18 Chapter 17
    altalt
    Creating A New Legend
    Book&Literature · Azazyel
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    You should mention a Mandibuzz and Braviery, to avoid confusion.

    Meanwhile, the egg that Bill had gifted to Tommy hatched shortly after the battle. Turned out, it was an egg of a Mandibuzz, a dark and flying type pokemon from Unova region.
    altalt
    Monsters in my Pocket
    Anime & Comics · manny0101
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Instant mastery is too OP, you should Nerf it to 10x mastery instead. Otherwise it will be hard for your story to go past 20 chapters because it will be to boring to read.

    Ch 2 Chapter 2: A New Start
    altalt
    Fairy Tail: Cherry Blossoms
    Anime & Comics · HeyHiHell0
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Why does the king have a Chinese name and the rest English names?

    Ch 4 A Gun!
    altalt
    The Golden Throne
    Fantasy · jdbeue
    detail
  • AbyssVentus
    AbyssVentus2yr
    Commented

    Maybe you should check out the Pokédex before writing to avoid confusion when choosing Pokemon. I am still confused is the Pokemon a Vullaby (Dark/Flying) or a Rufflet (Normal/Flying). Please make it clear!

    Ch 2 Chapter 2
    altalt
    Monsters in my Pocket
    Anime & Comics · manny0101
    detail