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Dvaita

Dvaita

Lv5

A möösë bit his sister!!!

2018-03-05 JoinedGlobal
12.8h

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78
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Posted

    One of the better stories I've read here, as it's neither the trope of cultivate, get Jade beauty and do face slap nor progression fantasy, litrpg math simulator. Instead, it's a refreshing take on a transmigrated MC who doesn't immediately become overpowered with some system (though there is a system) and becomes an edgelord Jesus It is a protagonist who's slowly coming to terms with his new reality and life as a cat slave, and a noble with a complicated past. The world building is rich and detailed, with enough references to the real world that it's not completely novel. The characters are for the most part well developed and rich in depiction. There are some kinks to be worked out, such as the evil for evil bully prince but they're minor and can be easily addressed in the future. One issue is that the story meanders, lavishing detail on characters to make it seem like they matter, but ultimately are nothing more than the character of the day type. Not an entirely bad thing, but considering the novel format, it's difficult for the reader to keep track of a character who was introduced 40 chapters ago who gets referenced now.

    altalt
    The Healing Crown
    Fantasy · PenOugi
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    Young "anatomist" with a shark pool who somehow had funding for crossbreeding million year old species? There's suspension of disbelief and then there's this

    Ch 1 Oceania.
    altalt
    Ocean Master
    Fantasy · GREAT
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    What happened to the grammar here anyway? The quality took a huge nosedive

    Ch 3 Prologue III
    altalt
    The Rise Of Calamity
    Fantasy · GRE3D
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    This is reading too much like one of those beta Japanese MC transmigrated to Isekai worlds. I mean, looks like it's a sexually liberated society, the MC obviously has a desire, it seems weird to act so juvenile. And it is equally weird for the MC to not recognize his own strength and self worth

    Ch 38 Anything for you (2)
    altalt
    Herbs & Lotions - The Busy Life of Alfraed Logick
    Fantasy · PWS
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    Story is interesting but why isn’t the butler questioning the sudden change in the MC and acting all Buddy Buddy with the MC?

    Ch 9 Two of them
    altalt
    Mad Hound of Esselgarde
    Fantasy · callow_dream
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    It’ll be easier if you run this through a spell or grammar checker. Sentences like “other races don’t but can’t” make no sense otherwise

    Ch 8 Cahill
    altalt
    Mad Hound of Esselgarde
    Fantasy · callow_dream
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    It might seem funny, but it’s such a weird tonal shift from the flowery prose of the first two chapters to stream of consciousness dialogues like these. Someone who’s been total trash their entire life can’t suddenly transform overnight. Imagine watching a long movie of how your life could be and changing overnight and becoming magically better. Old habits die hard. It’ll be more believable for there to be gradual change. More realistic too

    Ch 5 First Rampage
    altalt
    Mad Hound of Esselgarde
    Fantasy · callow_dream
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    A slave would have “their” status revoked. Come on, even if It’s a slave calling them an It is too much

    Ch 4 The Advent of setting things right
    altalt
    Mad Hound of Esselgarde
    Fantasy · callow_dream
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    Joy will be a better word here than mirth

    Ch 2 Dreams and lives
    altalt
    Mad Hound of Esselgarde
    Fantasy · callow_dream
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Replied to man_of_culture3030

    Ok honestly I don't mind you've a literal poem in the synopsis, but I still have no idea what the story is about. I get that this is your passion project, your brainchild, your Magnum opus, etc etc., but I've literally no idea what this is about. Even a single paragraph describing the story works. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. And only a limited amount of time. I'd rather read what I know I like, than to dive head first into the unknown. So pretty please, a small description of the novel?

    altalt
    To Sleep In The Sea Of Time
    Fantasy · man_of_culture3030
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    A good start but grammar and tone is all over the place

    Ch 2 Beauty and the dragon (2)
    altalt
    Herbs & Lotions - The Busy Life of Alfraed Logick
    Fantasy · PWS
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    Oh no, we already went full on anime. A dude with a chinese surname (maybe other nationality, but roots are chinese), insists on being called "Sensei", when the setting was clearly American/Western with names like James, but MC is named Aurelia.

    Ch 9 Sensei
    altalt
    Records of Rebirth
    Fantasy · EternalNightLotus
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    Oh God it's still going on the, the prologue and the school drama. How

    Ch 7 The Mad Prince
    altalt
    Records of Rebirth
    Fantasy · EternalNightLotus
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    Oh wow the prologue still hasn't ended. I understand wanting to flesh out the background, but you're disobeying the first rule of storytelling here. Show, don't tell. There's no show and endless amounts of exposition instead. I really want to read this story though, so I'll continue further

    Ch 4 Detention
    altalt
    Records of Rebirth
    Fantasy · EternalNightLotus
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    Seems too much of a sob story and kinda hard to believe a government would just let two elementary schoolers be with someone who isn't a legal adult. By the description of class president etc being extra credit for University applications, it's either a western country or a fairly developed Asian country. So no way the kids aren't already in foster care. Come on

    Ch 2 Bloodties
    altalt
    Records of Rebirth
    Fantasy · EternalNightLotus
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    This story has so much potential, but it'll be nice to get a look at Red and the others

    Ch 353 Of Two Minds
    altalt
    Touch of Fate
    Fantasy · mobius_factor
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    What's a budo

    Ch 9 Internal Skill Confusion
    altalt
    I Have A Martial Arts Panel
    Action · Vanguard Flaming Pig
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    Peak chunni

    Ch 4 Good at Learning (God-Level Passive Enhancement): Experience Gain Increased by 100%
    altalt
    My Passive Skills are Invincible!
    Sci-fi · Ultimate Guaiguaipi
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    There's trash tier translation and then there's this. Breaking new records for somehow screwing up even basic-ass mtl

    Ch 104 Barton: Why are You off Duty!
    altalt
    As A Cardinal, I Don't Do Overtime
    Fantasy · Southsky Star
    detail
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita2yr
    Commented

    Foist

    Ch 95 Monn’s Formation is Unleashed
    altalt
    As A Cardinal, I Don't Do Overtime
    Fantasy · Southsky Star
    detail