Sirkeksalot

the writing quality and grammar are serious turn offs. i am really interested in the story but being constantly knocked out of the flow while reading from bad grammar is jarring.

it might be a good idea to go through and have someone read and check your chaoters for grammar. it feels especially bad in this chapter(not trying to be mean)

yo maybe tone down the exclamation marks. feels like every narration is being yelled or is too hyper. love how the story is going so far tho

This story has great potential but I really can't stand the amount of gramatical errors. It is understandable but jarring to read, making it harder to get into. Please edit your chapters, especially the beginning ones.

why is tobi so stupid? isnt he an adult in a childs body?

not trying to attack or anything but your word choice and grammar could use some work. like dont use chill to describe the cold feeling, it just doesnt sound right. maybe also use a few less descriptive words. it comes out feeling a bit unnatural

At chapter 57 so far, it is a great read. It establishes motives and keeps a good and well balanced power system. It feels realistic while reading and I have enjoyed every second of it. Looking forward to the future romance. Give it a try, you won't regret it!

awesome chapter cant wait for more

am i the only one weirded out by the fact that he is only 14?

your status numbers are all over the place