NuggerNaut
Why are you reading this instead of a novel?
of reading
1399
Read books
You'd think zoro going to JJK world would result in a little more of a fun/action vibe when in reality its kinda been over 70 chapters of a hallmark movie that's interspersed with a tiny bit of other story elements. The two have been emotionally growing for over 70 chapters now, can something interesting or fun happen now?
As a personal opinion, I think you should carry on with the story as is. even though he hasn't come across any major difficulties yet. You could use that element To surprise the MC with difficulties in taking down Sedona or having a random encounter with a traveling nobel headed to the border, or having an envoy from another country show up and have schemes for such a thriving city. Things like the reasons for beastman hatred can be slowly revealed later thru older characters reminiscing about wars or conflicts. Or a plot twist about the real reasons from an introduced scolar or wise man. The same with soldiers training, focus on strategy and the technolgical advantage now, while slowly sprinkling in the progression of the physical fitness until the time frame makes it believable.
The way this first chapter is set up is a little rough, maybe try to eliminate all the blocks of world building that can be instead slowly introduced later And maybe an organic reason for the MC to get involved in the plot/change locations? The 'I got a strange and compelling compulsion' reason is honestly lazy and takes away from the MCs agency as a real character and not some kind of puppet to his 'strange feelings'
I appreciate you not speeding through the novel and making it an overpowered main character. But at this point in the novel, I'm having difficulty understanding what I'm looking forward to in going forward reading. (1).It's the universe he's in that I'm looking forward to him exploring eventually. (2)On the other hand it's the interaction with the characters in the world. And on that point it's only been his father for a while now, And it's kind of getting a little boring Now that the trust issues are resolved for the most part. so I don't mind the story if the MC is a weak child, and we're not exploring the 'universe' but I do mind if the story is one note constantly (i.e. training/bonding arc with dad)
What the happened with the continuity in this chapter? Mc tells spring to stand down, then the guy says something and suddenly the conversation is about how spring is imminently threatening the loudmouth with death and has given him an ultimatum? It's like a bunch of paragraphs were just cut out, like some kind of escalation in the conversation then spring snaps and makes a move, her ultimatum to him and the reaction of the peanut gallery were all left out. Thank God this isn't a common occurrence.
Oof, this interaction with his 'higher power' is certainly a novel choice. The powers are extensive and OP, but I guess is balanced with the unwilling alterations to MCs personality and memories? It might just be me, but having the personality/character traits or our MC be altered dramatically in the beginning of a novel is such a kill-joy.(always seems like a excuse for false "character growth" or drama/tension later on)
Going on quite the pseudo-psychology/therapy route these last couple chapters. I'm here for it, as it is done well enough to realistically strengthen the bond between the characters. It will start to drag if this trust issue is still focused on so heavily after the emotional benchmark in this chapter.
This is literally the 2 novel in a row that I've tried to read that has the beginning of the novel be 2 faceless voices expounding about the MC or the rules of the universe, in front of the MC. So weird. I guess I should have checked if the authors were the same before I commented.
"Suddenly I obtained the knowledge to build skynet and the terminator machines..." Until this in chapter 3 (I'm pretty sure) it doesn't come up at all that out MC has as he calls it, his 'half-as$ed golden finger'. Until then the novel while rushed and overly focused on Facebook, was still enjoyable. His only advantage until then being his knowledge of the universe and his knowledge of 2069 technology, that was more then enough and also fun. Next it will be 'I suddenly gained the power of all the gods...'
Can the sea Goddess discern people's intentions? he hopes to gain the magic sword? or the favor of the sea goddess? who is a magical elf, Born of nature that can grant wishes, and Will somehow NOT be able to discern that he only helped because it can benefit him. not out of sincerity or any Heartfelt emotions. It was the hesitation and calculated decision (while logical) that kinda tainted what I would assume the sea godess favors most. A sincere heart willing to help the helpless blah blah blah (another assumption on my part, maybe she only cares about her worshippers). But if you can just lie to her face about your intentions....why not? That sword does sound cool lol
I thought so too, but I would think that would come with the directive to infiltrate the world power that approaches her because she's far away and appears unaffiliated. Maybe author is just gonna have that happen anyway, but it will be a 'surprise' to us readers
So is the story going to just be a different telling of Jon's adventures? Usually there's a monumental change to the MCs soul/personality (reincarnation/soul blend/double soul) that absolves the reader from constantly comparing the OG character to the fan-fic MC because their fundamentaly different in all ways but appearance. What's going to stop me as a reader from comparing everything that happens and choices made to the much more polished, official character? After all, it's still the SAME Jon snow character.