dord

too much explanations for everything¡!!!!!!!!

it jumps too much around fix that and explain why people meet more would make it better

alittle bit of both

need to go back over the chapters they jump around

stupidity at its highest level and quality

if your going to make a fanfiction then u need to tell them when it's mess up

started off good but around chapter 60 it started going downhill from there so overall not the

it feels like he keeps contradicting himself and he's like I control these girls I got to catch along I got to catch them all the time line doesn't add up so it's not really that good and whoever reads this have fun trying to follow it

3rd

this book makes no sense it jumps from one emotion to another then it is like he has moods wings and girls just accept it then there is story just jumps from one thing to another to another adding stuff it's not even in the f****** original thing so I'm going to lay down