RENSHU
Binge Reader. ROB Cliche hater. I hate NTR with a passion. Fav Author: CORNBRINGER & AStoryForOne. Fav FF: DC: DON'T UTTER A WORD & A Nascent Kaleidoscope. Fav OG: Release that Witch & RDLK
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Will the story keep its narrative story telling? Will the author finally write interactions with important characters? We haven't even have an interaction with V. I want to be straightforward and sorry if I might come off as rude but the story kinda feels boring and lackluster. Imagine a city like night city but without the people, that's how I feel the story is like, the world building is actually amazing as well as the MCs power growth, but without character interactions that seems to being breeze through and only being told in a narrative, not being showed the story feels grey without color.
Do you mind providing a comparison statwise? say eraserhead since without his quirk he is the most likely humanlike in terms of stats. 2 ton weight is bit underwhelming considering the stats were above 200 + the herculean perk itself
Writing quality is 5☆. Too many pokemon fanfiction these days are too serious, too dark, and too complex. This story though is very light hearted and reflects the overall atmosphere of a fun Pokemon adventure. I particularly like the chemistry of the mc and cynthia both not overshadowing but rather compliment each other. The battles are easy to picture though lacking in suspense though understable since its still too early in the story. Overall a good story that I would recommend reading if you want something light and fun pokemon fanfic, oh also if you like cynthia, definitely this story is for you!
Parents profession could have been professional milk runners
One of the better ones in fanfiction in terms of writing. Bit on the slow side might say, but the worldbuilding covers up this slowness and keeps the story interesting. What makes it iffy for me is that some important story developments are being breeze through and just being told in a narration. Thus somehow in my opinion the story sometimes leans more like a biography or a diary. Though it feels like the story is still being set up in the 20+ chapters I have read and might be improved later. Overall, its worth a try in reading!
Another important meeting/story development being breeze through. Will this go on to the whole story? This is leaning more towards biography/diary with this lacking character interactions.
integrate switching pov. The pacing is too fast that it makes volleyball chapter boring. Make it interesting by letting the reader get to know other characters. You've done it once with Kageyama, surely you could do it again. Switching pov can also be used to hype up your MC and make tense situations to spice things up. Other than Mahiru the characters of Haikyuu is really bland, as a reader I would like to know the characters take on the MC.
Realistically, Tanaka should replace Hinata imo. Tanaka is much taller and can be used both in offense and defense. Hinata might have quick reflexes and strong jump but this early in the story I think he is much less of value in the team comp, specially since Haruto exist. Hinata can be used for surprise play to earn easy points but still highly likely to be stopped by taller players if read properly.
NGL. The volleyball chapters is not really entertaining. The games lack depth and there is no sense of tension since everything is just described. There is a rather lack of WOW factor for the MCs skills even when he was supposed to be blessed by a ROB. Should have just created a story without ROB since your character would be more prone for criticisms and readers would set higher expectations. This is why I despise ROB cliches as it more often not utilize properly and would soon be forgotten, like just start the story as an OC in a haikyuu world with Mahiru. Romance is done well and heroine is a develop characters. Can't say for sure to the Haikyuu's characters, they felt bland.
Binge for two days. I'm amazed at how your writing skills transformed from a somewhat understandable English construct to a now interesting immersive story! Another thing I liked in this is how you incorporate banger soundtracks to go with reading, it really does help in setting moods massively (Now I wonder why won't other authors do it also). This has been an amazing story so far wish you can update soon. Needing another Lucy POV.