Kyuse
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Kyuse3yrCommentedTypo: not point ~> no point
"Ah, forget it. There's not point giving you an option for one or the other. I'll just make you go through both, preferably at the same time."- Kyuse3yrCommented
Discount should be 75% total correct?
"The second plot is located in the Central Boulevard which is the main commercial street of our humble city. In fact, land there is not easily sold to anyone, but my Lord has sufficient reputation. We shall grant it at 300 gold. Here too, a discount of 25% is applicable." - Kyuse3yrCommented
Typo: over all ~> overall Thanks for the chapter!
"The plot in the noble district will come to 500 gold, due to being a prime plot in the reserved noble district. Thankfully, my lord is a Minor Duke, so the cost is discounted by 50%. My Lord is a Battle Maniac as well, meaning we shall also give a 25% discount over all, making a 75% discount on the price." - Kyuse3yrReplied to DidYouReadMyName
I imagine one of the reasons people are getting triggered is because the no sleep part could be something that the author believed in rather than knowingly adding it as a fantasy element. It's something that someone who doesn't know about sleep being necessary could read and believe is real, while the bending of light waves through pure mental prowess is something that is clearly fantasy and has not been showcased in reality. One situation is clearly fiction, while the other isn't quite so obvious. Just my 2c
In the morning, Draco woke up almost the same way, no visible fatigue on his face. It wasn't that he had a perfect sleep, it was just that he didn't actually need to sleep per se. It was an already established fact that the act of sleeping was a mysterious facet of human biology, where sleep wasn't absolutely necessary, but still ordained by nature. - Kyuse3yrCommented
'caution first' - decides to challenge the top 5 people at once when the bookie was fine with randoms. Guess he probably wants to subdue them all at once but very risky, especially since he's only taken 1-3 NuSmoothies.
Probably due to his sharp desire to live as well as succeed in this life and put away the hatred from his past, Draco had constantly been pushing forward with a 'caution first' mentality, which was valid most times, but could be detrimental when a forward push was needed. - Kyuse3yrReplied to famus_tem
Good point but if he was able to afford them wouldn’t the top fighters of a corrupt organization be able to take tons?
It was no wonder he could blow away two burly men with such a body. He could easily switch the location of the applicable force in his body at will and even multiply it, similar to how computer GPUs and CPUs can overclock. - Kyuse3yrCommented
Typo: this age were the ~> this age where the
In fact, even in the world of old, martial artists with exceptional skill could perform feats that would leave the average man baffled and wonder if the lessons he took in school about physics and biology were truly accurate, much less in this age were the human limiter had been broken due to science and technology. - Kyuse3yrReplied to Devils_Advocate
Although I understand that it’s a fantasy world, I think it’d make for a better novel if things were still logical and that it made sense in that novel’s world. Don’t get me wrong I’m still enjoying the novel but I just want to provide my own (hopefully) constructive criticism. i.e. if there was at least a small process of him taking supplements and training back to his original form that would make it fit the novel’s logic and world. Sure I understand him using martial arts to cripple his enemies but it’d be nice if the author gave more backstory on how strong the martial arts is, because at this point we have no idea. He could literally go super saiyan and do a kamehameha next chapter and it could be attributed to martial arts and qi. There’s no limit on his potential powers or what he can or can’t do. I suppose if this is just meant to be a power trip for the reader than I’m barking up the wrong tree though. Regardless, interesting story and keep it up.
Ch 16 The Five Generals - Kyuse3yrCommented
Small capitalization error: earth ~> Earth
Any who could dig deep enough to find his information could easily deal with him in the real world. Boundless wasn't like those VR games where people let things go. It was akin to discovering a second earth and everyone wanted to monopolize the resources. He had even been assassinated in his past life as the number 3 player in the world and the most powerful guild leader of a God-tier guild, much less now when he was a nobody. - Kyuse3yrReplied to GrandpaWhiteTiger
Could be that someone recognized he looks similar since they can't change their appearance much. Could be someone from his organization ratting him out too
Any who could dig deep enough to find his information could easily deal with him in the real world. Boundless wasn't like those VR games where people let things go. It was akin to discovering a second earth and everyone wanted to monopolize the resources. He had even been assassinated in his past life as the number 3 player in the world and the most powerful guild leader of a God-tier guild, much less now when he was a nobody. - Kyuse3yrCommented
Grammar issues: run-on sentences and awkward phrasing. Potential fix: (...) at the city center. A few signs of night life were available in this particular district, especially neon lights (...)
The streets were not as noisy at the city center, a few signs of night life in this particular district available, especially neon lights and shitty advertisements. - Kyuse3yrCommented
Typo: of ~> off
When he returned to the real world, he took of his helmet and discovered that his body ached. That wasn't surprising to him, as he had been lying down unmoving for more than half a day. - Kyuse3yrCommented
Grammar: slaughter quite literally every ~> slaughter and quite literally kill
Draco observed for a few more minutes before shaking his head. While he could easily dive in a slaughter quite literally every combatant on the indigenes side, he'd be doing very little in the end. The guild fighters could make a push for more territory but Draco knew that the indigenes hadn't even showed half of their fighting force. - Kyuse3yrCommented
Typo: titled ~> tilted
Draco simply titled his head in confusion. "How on earth did speaking the facts of the situation turn into an insult? It seems like the cause of your outposts decline and low position among the others is not the enemy, but the people themselves." - Kyuse3yrCommented
Grammar: Sounds better with “Apart from Anguis and Sasha”
He was directed to the backroom, where a long table stood with a map pasted onto its surface. Apart from Anguis, there were a few other young men who were gathered in this room, aside Sasha. - Kyuse3yrCommented
I hope the story mentions how much money he has soon.. from my understanding he's spent the 1000 gold coins from killing Ratchet and 500+ additional gold on buying equipment, potions, merchant shops. Just would be nice to have a general ballpark, though I suppose he’s likely going to be able to afford everything he wants anyways
Since there was no way to 'pay-to-play', the only valid currency was the standard in-game currency. Paying a whopping thousand gold coins, Draco had the necklace's look changed from a pendant-like shape to a gangster chain. - Kyuse3yrReplied to Kotario
Is it possible to edit these chapters? Or is it a lengthy process?
Draco titled his head at the items in his hand. One was a crimson ruby while the other was a necklace. He had rough idea of what the first one was, but not the second. He decided to check their item descriptions. - Kyuse3yrCommented
Typo: leap up ~> leapt up. Assuming the Bone Golem has multiple ankle bones, otherwise ankles should be ankle.
Draco himself just gave a low shout and leap up and over the encroaching fist, landing close to one of the legs of the Golem. With a powerful horizontal swing from Durandal, one of the tendons attached to its left ankles was severed. - Kyuse3yrCommented
Typo: as of staring ~> as if staring
People who looked at Draco would forever feel apprehensive, as of staring at a slumbering dragon. They would do everything to stay out of his way, unless they were significantly stronger than him. - Kyuse3yrCommented
Grammar: barely shell of ~> barely a shell of
They had whittled down the frontier group over the years until they were barely shell of what they were before. These frontier people weren't fighters, only prospectors. Their fighting force had long expired under the continued assaults, leaving these young scholars and travelers to fend for themselves.