why not have him say that the card gives him a report of the creature or item to a certain extent like the more he want to know but the more info he gets from said card the worse of a headache he gets.

I am loving it so far keep up the good work.

story detail and character build up is well written.

fix the bloody chapters

already and alright aren't spelled liked that in the dictionary. it is spelled as all right and all ready

wouldn't she be her daughter and not her sister

would you all relaxe bunch a drama queens🙄

if your not going to stick with creating this book then don't talk about how it's not yours.

this chapter has truly shocked and hurt us in more way's than one can ever imagine

you keep transitioning from he to she 2nd person like the protagonist becomes he then to she back to he then to she Same thing the brother and the elebuzz that you added into is also included if the brother is a he then stick with he and if the protagonist is a she then stick with she and If the elebuzz is a he then stick with he.

a very pleasant ending

I like the creativity so far but you could use some work on like the chapters instead putting more words on one page break them down or you could produce more chapters as you can/want to in a week that will attract alot more readers attention to your story.[img=recommend]

he should tell them the truth of who he really is