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Direl

Direl

Lv12

Casual reader

2017-12-02 JoinedUnited States
36.3h

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679

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6

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5
  • Direl
    Direl27d
    Posted

    Great story so far; interesting back story that fits into the world well. Sad that North Blue wasn't explored as much, but it is interesting to see the ideas for islands.

    Ironheart pirates (SIOC)
    Anime & Comics · Ironwolf852
    detail
  • Direl
    Direl1mth
    Posted

    It is a fantastic concept that could have been accomplished better. I love the idea of OP MC Grandfather character that fixes the multiverse; it just needed to be done better. He doesn't act like a kind grandfather with wisdom but more like an arrogant person who thinks he can do no wrong. The story also needs to catch up more in a fix for each world rather than a systematic fix. For example, in the Harry Potter world, he fixes characters' lives years after he should have learned about them. It is readable, but it is easy to skim through everything and notice what happened based on a quick read-through.

    Grandpa Universe In Multiverse [COMPLETE]
    Book&Literature · MisterImmortal
    detail
  • Direl
    Direl1mth
    Commented

    Who?

    "Henry Morgan," he introduced himself, extending a hand. 
    Redoing My Life (Modern Family)
    TV · Illusiveone
    detail
  • Direl
    Direl1mth
    Commented

    You're writing too much of the original scenes. As a fanfic fan, I think most of us recognize what originally happened, so a quicker snippet of it could work to avoid leaving out the MC too much. This read too much like reading the actual episode of Castle rather than your own writing.

    Ch 16 CH - 14 - Hedge Fund Homeboys - Part - 4
    Reincarnated into an AU world of TV
    TV · Hellblaze
    detail
  • Direl
    Direl2mth
    Commented

    Thanks for the chapter. I would love to see it keep to Gossip Girl and Castle as the main, with Suit on the side, and some slight crossovers with others (nothing too deep; something like the Psych chapters is perfect where they intersect a bit but don't really get into one another).

    Ch 15 CH - 13 - Hedge Fund Homeboys - Part - 3
    Reincarnated into an AU world of TV
    TV · Hellblaze
    detail