ShadexRay
Writing
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It will make sense in the next chapter. Kinda needed for overall plot.
every mans's dream xD
Honestly, that never crossed my mind xD
Nah, not yet at least.
Both! Depends on the situation. If there are other people around, then telepathic.
Yeah, like that.
Hmm, you're right. The jugular sounds more brutal and bloody. I will change it.
Alright, this novel has a lot of untapped potential. Incorporating the Indian Mythological figures gives a refreshing view and taste. I'm sure the readers will find it interesting and unique. My only slight qualm is that the writing quality could be improved, albeit slightly and almost negligible. Also, it would be great if you could translate the Hindi/Sanskrit dialogues into English to well-accommodate the readers. The pace is neither too fast nor too slow. The characters could be better described in terms of emotions, appearances and action. But, keep up the good work, author!
Just from the preview, it's an interesting concept, mix-matching the various mythological cultures. The second half of the preview is what caught me off-guard in a good way. I wasn't expecting the introduction of a 'chat group' along with a system. The eye-catchy names are unique, and different from the norm. I'm pretty sure this would be a great read if you release more chapters, author.
I love the main character and his 'memorable' quirks. From the very first two chapters, you will be immersed in an interesting journey. The author's storytelling prowess shines with his skillful narrative and intricate twists. The pacing is well-balanced, allowing you to enjoy the immersive experience. The writing quality is good and the author describes the background in vivid descriptions. Keep up the good work!
It's like a saying, kind of :P
Written by a masterful author, the story contains an impeccable writing quality, with attention to detail. This gives a great immersive experience to the reader. With the incorporation of the system element, it leaves a profound and a humorous impact, mainly due its personality. Meow~ The vivid descriptions create a rich and visual imaginative landscapes, that draws you in. This level of intricacy is amazing which not only adds to the immersion, but enhances the reader's overall experience. Keep up the good work and get them chapters going ;)
literally gave me the jeepers
The story has good potential especially considering it's a Card Fighter fanfiction clash combined with the system element. Though, the story suffers from one glaring problem, the writing quality. The poor grammar and editing could be massively improved. The mistakes are prominent and quite distracting. The flow and the structure of the sentences doesn't provide an immersive experience. I recommend the author to use Grammarly or any proofreading app. Nevertheless, I believe the author can massively improve. Good luck!
Set in the year 1820, the book will immerse you with a sense of wonder and deep emotions. The main protagonist, Leo is filled with a somber past, adding a layer of emotional instability. The author masterfully portrays Leo's emotions, allowing the readers to judge and empathize with him. While there are a few spelling mistakes, the overall grammar and writing quality is good and the impeccable attention to detail creates an enthralling reading experience. You're doing great and best of luck!
Yeah, terrible mindset but mistakes are often a step to success. Wait and find out!