people, beasts and beings (missing a comma)

young lady or young miss

"A good chunck of their"

"even seen in his previous life." "previous art." is just confusing.

"Five loud thuds" is beter English "thumbs" make no sense.[img=recommend]

Also maby change guzheng to zither as most people reading in English won't know what a guzheng is. Just a suggestion.

Hearing that, Murong Mengxin glared/looked at the maidservant briefly, making her shudder.

But the Xia Tian in front of her looked so different

he could feel a strange feeling from his grandson,

Liu Ying was dumbfounded, she was speechless, as she continued to stare at her son strangely. She tried to digest her son's words, but her mind still couldn't accept it, she subconsciously muttered to herself.

easy for you to ask her for

Feeling the warmth of Liu Ying's hand on his cheek, Xia Tian immediately opened his eyes as he looked at Liu Ying with a smile. He pulled Liu Ying into his lap, and wiped her tears away, then hugged her, as he said softly

because she had just checked her son's condition not long ago

Excessive use of He and Also Maby something Like : Since then he has become lazy, insolent and rude. Turning into a debauchee, often seducing many women to sleep with him, both married or single. Often going to brothels sleeping with many prostitutes.

Bad Sentence Structuring, staring with and, maby something like : Under the coffin there is a large circle with various engraved symbols, it looks like a circle of forbidden arts, only useable by certain races. Those that looks at the circle will find it strange, because in this advanced laboratory, there exists an ancient forbidden arts circle.