Vallori
A university student doing student things in life. Trying to get by like everyone else. And I write stuff that makes me happy, and I hope you enjoy it too, *HappyFace*
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No. I have been sick so I haven't been writing in months. Been really sick actually. But I think I will stay on this website. It is too much of a bother to relocate to another website, I realized. Have a Wonderful Day!
It has the potential to be funny with it crossing so many dimensional barriers to get the MC's crew. But the problem is it needs A LOT of editing. The structure of the paragraphs is all over the place. And from one author to another; Do not put multiple dialogue lines in the same paragraph (it is so weird to read). You also need to take another look (maybe three) at the grammar. There are many obvious mistakes even a non-English speaker can point out. Otherwise, I advise downloading the free version of Grammarly, it will fix most sentences here. Also, try and minimize mixing arithmetic words with ordinal numbers. If it is system-related you can use; 1, 2, 3, 4, like that. But if it is anything else, for Example, age then it should only be this: twenty years old... Not this: 20 years old. There are many things I can point out. But here is a summary: - Shorten paragraphs. - Limit the use of arithmetic words, instead go with ordinal numbers. - Check grammar more than ones (use Grammarly) - Do not put two different dialogue-lines of two different people in the same paragraph. I hope this helps. Have a Wonderful Day.
His predecessors are. He is not (yet).
Yeah, I sincerely believe this is nothing for a powerful shinobi. Have you seen the kind of stupid physics-destroying things they do in this show? Also, this is just for fun, don't overthink it. Just enjoy it if you enjoy it.
Trying to demonstrate Hiruzen's badassness. Also, I don't really care how my MC looks. I don't think he looks bad, I think he is demonstrating a realistic mentality. It won't change, so get out now if this annoys you. To save us both future headaches. Have a Wonderful Day!
Just the same name. So, yes!
Making Mihawk so trusting so quickly was a deliberate choice. It won't happen with every character MC meets. The reason for it is because Mihawk is OC in this story - my own version and I know it might be weird to think about him so easy-going. But, I think it will be okay, I am also not entirely serious with the whole "plot" about the story. And, I will eventually continue my Itachi story. Have A Wonderful Day!
I will try and do justice to Itachi, but I will still write him my way. Erza isn't gonna be his little sister and she isn't gonna call him "Onii-san" nothing like that. He will mostly always be the stoic badass the world knows him as. But, he will still have a personality and development. I will try and keep him logical most of the time. He will always have a goal and a reason for doing something. If he is acting like an idiot, then there is a reason why he is doing so. Have A Wonderful Day!