Turk
dark, tall, and handsome
of reading
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umm , that maybe the purpose that you were intending but it still is too quick and abrupt. it's like from cold to hot, without ever being warm. question do you actually see yourself a guy in a female? and even with that it doesn't explain him going all emo over her so sudden. and for the record I would like to say that I'm enjoying this work that you're working on, this is just some critique about a section that I think could be better. what I've read so far of your writing style isn't bad, it just seems like you did a little lazy writing here.
let me ask you a question why is he helping her why did he teach up fighting techniques, why does he care about her so much, why is he running around carrying her to the medical team when he doesn't even know her? please explain this to me. he's doing all of this because she's pretty and he's attracted to her, and there's no other basis for his actions he's definitely simpin, dude.
you have to remember that you're on Krypton and one of the most valuable things is battle and fighting technique, just teach him to a girl below the reason than that she's pretty don't know whether she's a potential enemy or future enemy don't know whether she's loyal, don't know whether she will teach it to others it's ridiculous. the guy just met her for Christ's sake!!!
sorry, concept is good, but throughout all day has taken is a bit immature, for adult fans. grown man wearing red underwear no matter how tight you make them is ridiculous, and they did away with Louis later on in the comics because most of the fans had become adults and they found her aggravating, because she was too self-righteous and always needed saving.
believe that the author has made the mistake here. does not the MC have a unsullied body. didn't his body go through this process and completely already in the first chapter. or why didn't he just use the system do it again as in the first chapter? this makes no sense?
normally I don't comment in the comments but I'm notice that the author seems to be showing subversive racism towards black super heroes in Marvel. making War Machine a traitor, bullying and making funny of nick fury and the black Panther.... in fact the MC shows unreasonable disdain and anger to there existence.