ktorres_65
Lv13
2017-08-28 JoinedGlobal
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ktorres_6528dCommented10yrs old to them is a young man?
Gu He's eyes nearly popped out, his hands involuntarily gripping the armrest of his chair. Having harbored a secret love for Yun Yun for many years, he had never touched her hand until now. This young man dared to directly hold her hand, it was truly... so enviable!- ktorres_651mthCommented
Author here is misusing or misunderstanding what "Mark" is in an engineering standpoint. It is a production marker of a standing version of a manufactured model.
Tony Stark raised his eyebrows again. Is this a name I gave to my own armor series? - ktorres_651mthCommented
For you plebs out there, the rough translation is God of Spoilers.
Yes, the supreme deity of the diary. - ktorres_651mthCommented
The words are *Musutafu, *Area of Interest.
"It's simple, I just looked at the villains and the areas where they attack, if he is a serial offender who has been causing crimes every now and then, then he is mostly affiliated with some organisation, and would cause chaos within the 30 minute radius of the base of operations as he would have idea of all the ways to reach his base without getting caught if things go south, and it's a pattern followed by almost all small times villains unless they have some kind of teleportation quirk with which they can cause trouble in Mustafa while having base in Tokyo or Kyushu, once i know the area of offence, then I looked at the past records to see if there has been similar acts caused by him in nearby areas and how fast did he escape, after which as i said I'll look at all the rundown areas within the 30 minute radius, and see if I can find any kinds of footages of a villain sitting near these run down areas and boom, I'll have the location of base of operations of that said villains with the accuracy of it being correct being almost 80-90%." Explained Izuku - ktorres_651mthCommented
Put a comma properly gosh darn it.
"Don't forget to return the books to me, or else I still have the suicide note with me," said Fuyumi as if she had become the head of all of the people present in the room. - ktorres_651mthCommented
You're mistaking militants for something else aren't you?
"And the kind of injuries he had is the worst, he was bleeding profusely, he even lost consciousness with blood flowing from almost every part of his body, his body burnt, filled with cuts and bruises, it was getting hard for me to find a spot which wasn't injured or bruised, I did his patchwork and to say my hands were trembling would be an understatement, seeing such a small child having injuries that majority of the trained militants don't have in their entire life, it's a miracle that I didn't loose consciousness, had I not been there yesterday to get my stuff then Izuku would have definitely been in a coma if he hadn't died, and the kids even had the balls to tell him to commit sucide so that he gets a quirk in the next life, thats why I came here, cause letting him stay like this without doing anything he won't be able to even survive a week." finished Mr Miyamoto as he had tears welling up in his eyes just remembering all those things. - ktorres_651mthCommented
This is a wall of text. Practice saying verbally what you want the character to be saying, it will help it be more organic.
"As I said, Izuku was bullied in the school the most, however, I didn't allow anyone to bully him during my period, so they used to bully him twice when my periods weren't there, I tried telling the principal but he just shut me up, unable to bear it I recently complained about the increseaing bullying of Izuku to local authorities but the bullies were somehow related to big shots or had versatile quirks and thus the authorities did nothing and it also looked like they had taken bribes from those big shots to close the case, and because I was alone who was concerned about Izuku in the whole school, the principal fired me from the school and put fake charges that I was found doing illegal dealings, that's why taking advantage of me being thrown out of school they bullied him the whole day, using their quirks unhinged and at full capacity using him as a punching bag and thats a everyday thing for the past 2 years, and yesterday was the extremest as during the whole day no teacher came in and Izuku was constantly beaten by kids using their quirks however they wanted, as if doing training on a test dummy, and if that wasn't enough, they threw him out of the window of his classroom which is on the second floor," said Mr. Miyamoto stopped to take catch his breath as he continued. - ktorres_651mthCommented
what irks me is the flow of the dialogue. If you read this out loud, it will sound like someone reading a description instead of someone actually talking. I suggest you practice the dialogue verbally before writing it down to check if it would flow organically or not.
Izuku still unfazed as he says, "Think about it, I have information worth millions if not billions that Giran might want, don't blame me if because of you he suffers such a big loss and then you are seen lying dead somewhere, getting eaten or rotting in some dark alley, as if I don't meet Giran I have many other people who would do anything for the kind of information that I have, some are even competitors of Giran, well his loss." said Izuku at the end as he started leaving. - ktorres_651mthCommentedCh 9 Chapter 9:- All Falls Down Part 2
- ktorres_652mthCommented
That's BS. earlier it was described that ailin matched the Vice captains reiatsu.
Admittedly, Ailin's current Reiatsu was merely at the sixth seat's level, still over ten times removed from the captains. - ktorres_652mthCommentedCh 9 Good Intentions
- ktorres_653mthCommented
Wow. the grammar was okay in the early chapters. But it's becoming stomach churning wuxia cringeness but reading about japanese cast characters using wuxia expressions is urgh.
Ch 133 Chapter 118 : Lanza del Relámpago!detailTop 10 Famous Death Scenes: The Death Of Kyojuro Rengoku At The Start!Anime & Comics · Nobody2NoBody - ktorres_653mthCommented
what the? A very wuxia way to talks "I hope you bla bla bla, otherwise i'll bla bla bla"
"I came to buy 200 kilograms of sand, 100 building stones (Bricks), and 20 kilograms of sticking mass (Medieval cement). I hope you can meet my needs; otherwise, I'll leave!" Jon spoke coldly. He came to buy materials, and he didn't like the initial prejudice, although deep down he found it understandable since he's still an 8-nameday child. - ktorres_653mthCommented
11 name days, 11 name days darn it. not 11 days
In Winterfell, Theon Greyjoy was the best among the youth in archery; Robb was always the weakest, hitting his target at 10 meters, Jon could do it at 15 meters, but he never showed to be better than Robb in public. Greyjoy had a surprising talent hitting 30m; even at 11 days, he was recognized throughout the castle for his skill. - ktorres_653mthCommented
get revenge not avenge.
"LET'S GO, YOU PUSSIES! WE LOST OUR HORSES, BUT WE'RE 9 AGAINST 5 CHICKENS. LET'S KILL THESE WEAKLINGS AND THEN AVENGE THE NEARLY DEAD BOY!" He shouted, knowing that everyone had the same thought as him. They quickly got up and ran towards the farmers' barricade. - ktorres_653mthCommented
Why do you keep saying vision?
In everyone's view, that child in his vision, who seemed to be dying on that small hill, made everyone have the same thought. As skeptical as the situation seemed, they knew that the boy was behind the fall of the horses. The farmers who had already seen the miracles of that boy had fewer doubts to believe otherwise, but still, it was a skill they never imagined from that boy. - ktorres_654mthCommented
easy. active imagination = childlike wonder
Jon choked on the sight; he feared for his life along with his new friend. How could an eight-year-old not fear giant wolves appearing before him? He was already taking a few steps backward, ready to run and try to save his life and the life of Caraxes, a name he gave to the eagle in homage to one of the fiercest dragons he read about in history books during the Dance, over 150 years ago. Since there were no more dragons, it was up to Caraxes to dominate the skies now; hence the dragon name for the bird. (Note: I'm trying to simulate an 8-year-old here; I know it's impossible, but I'm trying to make it as childlike as possible within my knowledge). - ktorres_654mthCommented
no one promised you anything.
Where was the promised storage artifact? It was a letdown!