Whatever happened to this fellow? Did he keep up with the training after this mum was cured?

IIRC there are plenty of regular Unchida folk going about that aren't ninja, some dont awaken the most broken eye-power in-verse, or just get a single tome. So they are just civilians that work for/with the clan. The manga or anime never really throws around hard numbers about this stuff.

Think this chapter really sells why he is such a bad fit for the naruto setting; despite having years to train, plan and make preparations, at the end of it all, not matter how it's presented, the biggest move he makes in almost 200 chapters to change/improve anything is at it's core an impulsive action. This man was given every opportunity to improve his standing, mentality, mindset and relations, he knew enough to not at least be forced to grind as a genin and throw his life away in the ring for months, for the barest of minimums of power progression. He is impressive for a genin and is soon a Chunni, but that is the best that could be said. This man is not dumb as other reviewers has said relentlessly, no he is far worse; impulsive and tired. At this man's core, he can not sit down an think about his actions beyond what he has just done and his next healing session. By being an tired husk that grasps at any straws, any better way to improve ANYTHING, be it himself or others, he misses them consistently. The future and past might as well not exist to him. He refuses to sit down and think long term plans that fixes any issues. Even just knowing and acting on the broadest of strokes in this universe is a highway to endless opportunities. Something this man will never do. Also, that fact that this story got a romance tag, i legit pity that unfortunate woman or man.

Based on the average people's circumstance, i'm betting on a 50-60 'life-expectancy'. Sure, normal folk have potentially for a 80-life-span, but ya know how life is in tough times are.

Not to be that guy, but instead of writing 'The Dragon King's wife...', just write the mother or something. So far the vampire aspect is the current focus, being the last boss and this being his flashback, the fact there is a 'dragon king' means nothing until this point, so having his title go before hers (vampire queen), which has actual contextual importance or whatnot makes no sense.

o7

Think he is making a 'dig' at her, like, he knows she would love it 100%. But since she was so harsh and incredibly unfriendly earlier that day in that message, he just kinda decided to not involve her. Like, who invites people they dont really like to super important events?

"... lingers past death." If this is the entity/person 'Death' that the previous parts are talking about, then this should be capitalized.

Things are happening way too fast and seemingly without reason; first he is a child, then it turns out he got only 1 year to live, then abominations are showing up in town. At this stage, there is enough on the plate, but then it keeps going; he kills himself twice while looking on his status, after that he turns into an egg, starts slurping up (somehow) the intergalactic galaxy destroying juice, after that he becomes the picture of 'i want to scream but i have no mouth' and starts walking about, but heck that was not enough, now he is suddenly in a another world being attacked by a big rat after being mind-screwed by one absurd vision after another. Dude, there is no chance to breath or take any of it in. Since everything is happening every 2 seconds, it's impossible to care or try to make sense of any of it. I been hoping for the last 10 chapters that it will slow down and start to work through whatever is going, yet that is impossible, it's like a increasingly bombastic car-chase that goes on and on for over 30+ min.

That has to be an mistranslation. The dude haven't gotten that many skill ups

This is one piece my guy; realizations, haki, power-ups, new unorthodox techniques and sudden reversals in the heat of battle is all part of it.

It was very much implied that if he also approved of the mc, as the other examiner wanted, then mc would've joined the sect. But since he bickered, that allowed the young master fellow to happened upon the conversation and became the last 'vote' or final say that the mc would not join the sect despite the bandit clearing.

Imagine hearing that the cosmos is shaking and break, and then not knowing why it's important. Ya idiot you live in cosmos!

I think it would be wise to introduce the character before he becomes relevant. like meeting Dylan during one of the practices, not being told about it later. Because it usually improves the structure if there is a foundation for a character/ability/connection if it was shown or brought up at an earlier point. It make stuff less arbitrary random for plot. which is why its a very common mistake for new writers.

Maybe reveal super sense when he broke through to rank 3, instead of mid combat. Because it makes it seem that he gets powers whenever it's needed to solve the current problem, which why the hint to the 3 spells was fine.

Even with somewhat 'just' retribution, i think it makes Bryan as a character 'lesser'. Like, the fact he was willing to hand out torture that easy, a deeply immoral act that, especially to what is essentially a middle man who is willing to talk that fast, makes him far less human. For a character he has been quite relatable and grounded on multiple angles: his poor background, sense of wonder at the greener side/magic and new friends and comrades. But the fact is will easily just flip a switch and Julius Ceasar a surrendered man who already in custody and had no information that was in anyway related to an emergency. I dont know man, Bryan is just becoming another coldblooded mc that does immoral stuff when it suits him. Never stopping doing awful stuff like that because it goes against some inner sense of morality or empathy for a fellow human being, but because he doesn't have the time or opportunity to do evil stuff. As in: ““Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could do, they didn’t stop to think if they should.””

Bryan had breakfast with detective Bryan. pretty sure something ain't right here

Not much steampunk yet, technically, since it implies that they got tech based on steam that was somehow more advanced than we IRL got, like a functioning jetpack that uses steam. But you totally got the Victorian steam era theme really well. Honestly the fact they managed to make a functional steam engine, and then produce factories, trains, rails and all that on a wide scale in 5 years is borderline steampunk, cuz that stuff took us like 40-60 years.

That James fellow started a series of events that created a figurative god of theft (based on the summery) by allowing himself to be robbed for a few sec, what a chad