I appreciate your opinion and I know that there are certain cases, not all the time, but there are. The pacing is still quite quick which I'm pretty sure has been improved on in later chapters, but just as your reply and my review have value. The problem with the entire review is that it's based on first impressions. Which are usually crucial for the growth of a novel. Call me shallow, but I stand by the fact that the way you introduced us to the character and the pacing are extremely fast. I respect the fact that at least you took the time to read my review. Have a nice time writing, Sir Author.

I know you invite me to read, since its your novel, and I appreciate the offer but I have to politely decline.

I would like to start off that I only read up until chapter 5, so take this review with a grain of salt, and I will be mostly focusing on the main character/writing quality. The two main issues I noticed right off the bat is the fact that the character adapted to his circumstances extremely quickly. and the pacing of the story is over the roof, and to be quite fair. It makes no sense. As a thirteen year old child people would expect them to be full of questions and have issues adapting, but instead we see him act like an adult and make rational and extremely unlike choices for a child. This makes no sense considering he just woke up and after an hour of him living his new life he already realized he is in the karate kid/cobra kai world. His interaction with his father is also forceful, but that might be because of his strained relationship with his parents. The pacing makes the unnatural adaptation of the child even worse, and adding another layer of doubt towards the novels progression. Since the pacing and character are so bad it is starting to affect the story development since chapter 5, and making the development less competent. basically we are rushing to build the house and forgot to reinforce the foundation, this will create plothole which leads to dissatisfaction. World Background is 5*, cuz its a fanfiction held inside an already popular series. Updates is 5*. lots of chapters and a really responsive author. good overall

wouldnt it be better to superimpose two and two sound bullets and connecting them instead of connecting a weaker sound bullet to a stronger one?

I thought Rui is an all rounder, but ever since this new "mission" all he has done is just politics, and politics, and now he upgrades his long range, when its clear that its gonna ruin the balance in his current loadout. Maybe its just me but it feels like I'm watching a 10 minute youtube video explaining bullshit for 9 minutes before it goes on the actual topic of the video for the last minute. The chapters now are less engaging than ever, and it feels like a lot of people are agreeing with me. if we compare the chapter comments from the first 100 chapters, and now. it feels like the whole novel turned into a factory with mindless workers reading and an author who has burned out. Do not get me wrong, im not saying the book is bad, im saying there is no more Martial art, but more "world building/exposition". Its great to flesh out the world, but I couldnt give two flying fucks about the longranger sect and their mission to power up, while the mc could have powered up twice with two new techniques in the same timespan he spent on that fucking island doing NOTHING. and to top it off, he gets to upgrade an already op technique which will ruin the balance of his current "lacking arsenal" of techniques which are unique to him. YOURE TELLING ME, I READ 100+ chapters of a boring ass hell arc only for him to upgrade his pathfinder. instead of getting a better striking technique since he lacks in striking and diversity, his grappling has been MAJORLY FORGOTTEN FOR LIKE 600 CHAPTERS. lets not talk about his symbiote, i guess its now non existent and wont eat his mind. like, yeah. definitely. how come he didnt get into any hypnotic techniques when he was frothing from his mouth when he saw it in the actually good and entertaining championship arc. Either way, This is my take on the current development of the book and how its slowly devolving from its roots.

a cool technique he might be bale to learn is magnetic sense. its a sense that some animals posses, and also us humans, but unfortunately we cant harness it, even if we have the necessary organ.

Because the author doesn't think of improving his own craft, and instead he seems to be living in his own little world. that answers all your issues with the FF.

nah, a martial master B)

patience is key. worry not you shall find passion through effort.

seems like a horrible father to me, and who tells their son they suck when they powered up and instantly appeared behind them, but that's not how you teach people. dumb old man.

so, what happened?

I see, That's nice :)

hopefully i find one, too bad nothing sticks with me.

And it's alright. Thats why I gave examples and links to places you can improve, but you should also do it slowly don't try think you have to reach a certain level to write, and instead improve while you write. I do recommend you create a skeleton of chapter around 100 or 500 words just describing the plot in skeletal form. What happens with this or that character, and if u did it already then you are ready to improve further. Grammar isn't hard to understand, but it takes a lot of time to actually get the fundamentals right, and they are quite a hassle since English is by no means perfect. Only those who actually put effort into learning the language can write well, and guess what, even Americans have a hard time with grammar. let alone people who learned it as their second language.

Im not sure. but why do you love stories?

So, I managed to reach the latest chapter (Chp 27). Now that i got to the latest update I wish to tell my grievances towards the novel. Writing quality 3*. Overall, its decent, but there are a few issues i would like to talk about, and they are: -The paragraphs and sentences. I would like to say that the biggest issue with the paragraphs and sentences are how they keep being split up into 1 or less sentences even while it's a monologue (thinking) or exposition. By that i mean that most, and not all the writing is done that way, but it can be distracting. I advise that they be connected at least until 2 to 3 lines are written out without creating space between the sentences or paragraphs. This will create a thicker paragraph, but also inducing confidence in your writing, and showing the readers that you can deliver an intriguing plot without relying on too many spaces between paragraphs. -The comma and forceful splicing of sentences. I have already explained this to the author, so im not going to bother explaining once again. -The amount of Exposition and monologue. This is a pretty big issue if it gets out of hand and goes on further than a hundred chapters. Creating a balance between Dialogue, monologue, and exposition is very crucial to creating an extremely good foundation for your story. It's because by creating the balance that you can finally begin creating a concise and very good plot, and it's going to be very useful because if you're focusing on mystery or psychology. You will need a concise plot. If there is too much exposition the audience will get bored, and if there is too much monologue the main character is going to spoon-feed us everything you write. Which is bad because that creates a situation called "show don't tell". Simply put the main character just by thinking is going to give us every piece of info we need, and which we could have found out ourselves through the actions of other characters, or the actions of the main character. And if there is too much Dialogue then the same issue of "show don't tell" comes back. Creating situations where one character gives us every info we need about an arc or other things literally spoon-feeding the reader information the author could have simply shown later on. Maintaining the balance creates a relationship which becomes dynamic enough where you simply have to follow the plot without getting too sidetracked in exposition, monologues, or dialogues, and still get an exciting mystery, or intriguing plot points. I can give you an example of how to combine them all neatly to get an intriguing and very nice character development. (John walks through the hallway of the dilapidated inn slowly inching his way towards the most conspicuous door, but his nose picks up the smell of blood and burned chemicals. 'I wonder what Daniel is up to at this hour.' John thought while opening the door where the smoke was dissipating from. "Close the door!!" A meek and agitated voice could be heard, quickly closing the door behind him he starts coughing as the smoke covered most of the ceiling. "Cough, What in Arias name are you doing, Daniel!?" John lowers his head under the smoke only to see two skinny and hairy legs peek at him. Frowning John dashes to the window and opens it letting the smoke disperse. After a minute John has now a clear sight of a man in his mid-thirties with goggles and a mask on while half naked with his dirty undies shown. "In Arias blight! Why aren't you wearing pants!?" John inquired with trepidation shown all over his face and a sigh escaping him. "You know what? Never mind."Before Daniel could reply John threw a bag of unknown materials at his half naked friend. "Thanks John, Appreciate your help!" Daniel exclaimed with a bright smile and put his mask back on while taking out a bunch of weird materials, and John simply let out a sigh and silently left. *BOOOOOOOOOM* A huge explosion could be heard as John looked up and let out an exasperated sigh. Meanwhile, John was expecting some guardsmen to appear, but only to be disappointed that no one even cared about it, but only the children who laughed whenever Daniel opened the window to get some fresh air.) This is simply just an example. We use exposition to create the setting, monologue to point out a trait or characteristic of someone, and dialogue with exposition to show us the relationship through action. Not through words spoken between each other. And lastly, we use exposition to show that people are already used to Daniel creating explosions daily. Closing the side event of sorts which shows us. Where Daniel lives and his character, how he treats his friends, and how much he trains or goes through. We already learned so much just from 280 words. Isn't that amazing? Either way most of my issues stem from Writing Quality. Stability of updates 5* Good. Story development 4* Its good, and I am invested in the story somewhat. Character Design 4* The characters all seem pretty 3 dimensional, and mostly the main character, but it wouldn't hurt to characterize your other side characters more. World Background 5* Yeah you like to exposition and monologue a lot, and so we got a pretty rich background considering it's only been 27 chapters. Overall, 4.2*

First chapter, and few dozen grammatical and typographical issues. I advise you to look up punctuation and fix your comma splitting.

I have a question, but why do you love this story so much? Just a curious passerby.

its Draul Saint Cross dude, tsk tsk.

thanks for tha chappy!