haha

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

how did general Barton change to patton

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

this paragraph made me laugh. good job!

Author messaged me and I appreciate that. I read a f**K ton of books on this app and appreciate it when someone is trying to improve and better themselves. I know no one writes their book to sound good while being listened to and that's fine. If u pick up any book that's been through a publishing company and has been scrutinized by editors, the book comes out reading in way that flows. some authors on here can't keep the genders right from one paragraph to the next and others can write 4,000 characters and not make a mistake. They didn't start that way and made it there by hard work. My advice, if you'll take it author, is to outline the story, from start to what you think could be the end point or multiple, write and write and write out the words in your head for the chapter with little punctuation and grammar then read what you got on paper then go and delete what's unnecessary to the plot of keep the cool stuff, add your grammar, then take a look at some dialog from other popular books and see what they did. Read what you wrote out loud so that it makes sense when spoken because we all read it out in our head and the voices in there need it to sound good too haha. Then one more quick reading and you shouldn't even need an editor. I'm not saying this is the end all be all, but it will dramatically improve the flow of the reading and will help the flow as well. You will pick up on plot holes and other silly mistakes as well. I wish you the best and will revisit the story later.

that was a funny chapter.

I barely looked at the book and the story is written in script format. How can a reader even get into the story with by reading a movie script. I honestly don't know what literature classes author took, but they didn't make author write out short stories at all. I can't even listen to book even if I wanted to. I'm honestly disappointed. I give a lot of books on here a very good chance and read in many chapters, but I'm not reading a movie script. I know you're going to say, "then don't read it", or something of the sort, but it really gets to me when a reader can't even get past the first chapter before they're frustrated.