Tonukurio

If I'm not wrong, the peach crisps here are actually walnut cookies...

Let me know when you're done. I'll wait and re-read then

Shouldn't there at least be a point where she explains to Silas about the book plot, systems and transmigration? The story seems to assume he already knows or has been going back and forth knowing/ not knowing or he is just playing along with her in which case, it should have been mentioned somewhere...

She hasn't yet told him they were characters in a novel. Gaah

Because he knows he's a character in a book? Stupid AI, ruining good stories like this.

Keeping track of the accounts (all the numbers) must be a headache. I can imagine having to keep a spreadsheet for his daily activities to keep count.

It's what some of the more professional and published authors used to call 'pantsing' or writing by the seat of your pants. I am also that kind of writer. I'm not so good with outlining and sticking with outlines, but sometimes, for more complex stories, it needs to be done. Or not... Going off on tangents is fun too... Or you can do what I do and write multiple versions of the same story and force someone to read them all and tell you which parts of which versions are best and stick them together (I have no one to help me, so I force the AI to help me. It's not gonna complain). As for learning to improve your positive criticism skills, this is a learnt skill acquired through much practice. You practice at home on your family, even when you want to make mean and cutting remarks or want to be blunt and direct. Although sometimes, I still think blunt and direct is the most direct way of getting your point across. But then people get angry and hate you, so... in order to maintain relationships and keep friends, various skills of how to talk about a topic must be learned. So... start practising at home or with good friends on the most forgiving of people who know what you're trying to do, is the start. Then when you have a measure of control, you start practising on other people. Classmates, colleagues, people who also understand what you are trying to learn and are on the same path of learning as you. And don't forget the random strangers you meet, you can practice on some of them, because if you get it wrong, you can apologise and run away quickly and hope you never meet them again. Yup... It takes guts and years and years and years. There are people who are natural at positive criticism and while I envy them, to be honest, our more rocky self-learning journeys are much more interesting in a way. Story worthy, you might even say, because then when you write about a person's struggles, you know exactly how to write it and where it hurts. And in the process, you will learn about yourself. And about how the small, insignificant, insecure you is able to have character growth that you can use to bring characters in stories to life. And somehow, somewhere along the kine, you stop caring about the staring and judging eyes and somehow discover you are more confident than you were last year. That you are a better and more positive person (that has depths). And that your positive encouragements can help bring out the best in people and encourage them, which in turn, encourages you and you can pass more love around. Yeah. Sincerity. Pay it forward. Something like that.

No worries. If I am helping someone edit here, it's because I'm bored of my real work and I'm doing this for fun. You're a good writer with good instincts. Treasures like you must be cultivated for the improvement of novel writing on the whole. The less trash I read, the better. Besides, this is also another way of honing language craft and word smithing. A writer must also learn to critique in a way that is acceptable, relatable, understandable and encourages growth. This is another kind of writing practice :) Don't feel bad. I'm kinda broke and wish I had people to help with my stories too, but I haven't gotten back to my own stories for a while to re-edit them. Did you know, once in a while, WN stuffs up all your formatting and you have to go back and reformat and fix everything again? And then, while you're reformatting, you discover heaps of mistakes that just make you feel depressed and after a while you get tired of it and just drop it for a while... sigh...

Also, writing about psychological changes and from a certain psychological standpoint is really difficult. It's a really fine line to walk and know how much is too much or not enough to write. If you really want to go into the psychological side, I wouldn't rely on AI the way you have been doing so far. It would be best to write it yourself. But be careful. Your own mental health is also important. If you go too deep or too far, you can hurt yourself. It can also hurt readers and affect their mental health too. Since you have different POVs built into your story, if things are getting too much from a first person perspective, switch it up to someone else's POV to continue the story and show how demented or broken they are through their words and actions. When in first person and going down the mad route, for your own sanity, hinge all their logical or illogical thoughts on one or two lies that feeds everything else. It's easier to stay in control as the writer when there is rationality in the irrational. I would recommend changing how you use the AI. Rather than having the AI write for you, I strongly recommend asking the AI, if the character has this problem, would they do or say this or this? Which is more believable? If character thinks A, what action would they take? Then, you run your writing through the AI one chapter at a time and ask it to pick up your mistakes or inconsistencies. The AI is not always right though, so take the AI's answers with a grain of salt and search on the internet for information to back up what the AI might suggest or recommend, especially when related to mental health. That way, you'll build a personalised voice and path for characters to take that you know intimately and it will sound more real than if you let the AI do it for you - but this takes a lot of a lot of time. Anyway, you are right. Slow down. To do your story justice, don't rush. Do your research. Build your character back stories and don't let the AI put things in that we aren't supposed to know yet. You control the story yourself, because your instincts are right so far.

Also, what kind of feedback regarding errors or edits would you like? Do you want me to pick all the ones I see up? Do you want me to just point out there is a problem here but keep it vague so you can work it out yourself? Or do you prefer the spoonfeeding kind where I point out specific errors and give A, B, or C suggestions (I wouldn't do this all the time, as it is very time consuming). Everyone prefers different kinds of feedback. Which kind do you prefer? Or shall I just use my own discretion?