A gripping story, really. So far I'm hooked on how the story is progressing. There were a few issues with some sentence patterns, but a little editing and you're golden.
Albinus_istamar
1の人に「いいね!」しました
いいねThank you so much for your review. I'm trying to improve my english grammar and correct some sentences that i know that doesn't sound as good as i will on english. I'm a spanish speaker, and even if i'm used to speak english at work, you know, usually not native english speakers make some mistranslation and other flase friends mistakes like spanish patterns. I hope i will be better writting it soon. it will be nice if you can comment some mistakes, i will edit asap