The story has potential, it lacks a lot of correction and editing work, not so much because it is poorly written and the line of action cannot be followed, but because it detracts from the rest of the positive things such as the plot. Perhaps lengthening the chapters a little more by introducing some more situational descriptions would also enrich the text. Good job
Captain_Sadistic
2の人に「いいね!」しました
いいね返事はありません。最初になろう!