After reading some of this, I haven't really connected to this. Although I got asked to read and review this work, I'll be totally honest, it seems a bit formulaic and super inconsistent. Could get better overtime, but as of now, I think it is average AT BEST.
Vacaar
2の人に「いいね!」しました
いいねVacaar:Fair enough, I can see where some of the issues lie. But what parts could be improved? I just want to make things a bit better.