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Review Detail of DaoistcUSsoV in The Ring of Gyges

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DaoistcUSsoV
DaoistcUSsoVLv11yrDaoistcUSsoV

Great story! Although the latter half of the it was a bit fast and the setup for the story was lacking. Here are a couple tips; when you write about his sister multiple times, you should not just refer to her by her name, but also as “sister”.

The Ring of Gyges

Daoistb0al6z

2の人に「いいね!」しました

いいね
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返事はありません。最初になろう!