yeah I'ma keep it 100 with absolutely anyone who tries this story. there are a ungodly amount of unneeded comments from the author within the story, grammar mistakes, and overall cringe. I'm not trying to diss you, but get rid of the extra comments, and emojis, use grammarly, and it might be a okay story, not good simply okay. once again not trying to diss it's just painful to read the interactions between characters is sub par, and the actual story itself is purely wish fulfillment which I'm fine with if not for the fact that you went about it the wrong way there's no buildup, or anything. there are ways to make a good wish fulfillment, but you leave much to be desired hell just read Madara in the avatar world perfect example of essentially a perfect wish fulfillment in a way tho it may be unfair to be comparing to that author considering how impeccable they are in writing.
Vladimir_Alexander
Liked it!
いいね返事はありません。最初になろう!