Review Detail of theanimemail in Naruto: The Outsider's Resolve

Overall, I'd give this a try: the grammar and use of more complex sentences have steadily improved as the series progressed, the characters feel pretty genuine and believable, and the way it approaches the Naruto world adds depth and rounds out many aspects the anime/manga simply glossed over, and the combat is pretty great. Now, while I love all the aspects above, I have to say that the weakest part of this fiction is the writing style: MANY scenes are completely interrupted by inane monologuing or exposition on topics that should either be addressed in a previous scene or simply not talked about at all (e.g., the random interruption of a stealth mission in order to tell us how they acquired the driver of the carriage); this completely ruins the flow of the story and results in me skimming at least 25% of each chapter and generally being slightly annoyed at the many moments ruined—or at least negatively impacted—by the use of random fact dumping or unnecessary exposition (i.e., work more on the "show don't tell" rule of writing). Nonetheless, if the author works on this aspect, this could be one of the best Naruto fanfictions on the market. Though, seriously, please work on knowing what topics need to be made aware of and which can be skipped; this has made many sections of this story a bit of a slog to read through. Thanks for the great book, and I hope my review helps further your writing :)! _____________ Side note: you might also want to keep a lookout when it comes to repeated words; you seem to use many of the same words within the same paragraph or sentence, which results in the writing feeling amateurish and kinda stilted. For example (there are two): "He heard the footsteps grow closer until Orange-Mask ran past him. Takuma jumped Orange-Mask and threw an augmented punch towards the man's face. Orange-Mask ducked under the punch and stabbed out with his sword. Takuma dodged with a quick step back before going in with a counter augmented-punch." (CH_7.12) "The water tentacles snapped forward and wrapped themselves around Orange-Mask's wrists. Takuma pulled Orange-Mask toward him with the tentacles and went for a stab with a kunai. Orange-Mask resisted the pull, broke free from the tentacle's grasp, and pulled his sword up." (CH_7.12) These are simply two examples of what has happened in almost every chapter and is something I'm surprised no one's brought to the authors attention.