Ok so first off, you have have good grammar and sentence structure which is like 90% of what you need to have a good story. a big thing i dont like is how there is barely any descriptIon. i want to know more about the world surroundIng them. you can say “a desert is dry”, but saying rather “It seemed as though the land hadnt rained in years, not a shrub in sight. i looked at a scene in which life had almost ceased to exist in a small corner of thIs massive world. cracks formed intricate patterns from lack of moisture...”. Description gives substance to writing and its not only to do with area. the same description can be used to describe the powers. scorching heat that could melt even diamond. or earth so strong and impregnable, nothing could pass through. otherwise your story is good, decent number of questions that can be answered later in the story to gove that Ohhhh factor. good job 👍
Liked by 1 people
LIKE
Thank you very much for the review and the suggestions. 😀
