The story has its potential, and with my honest opinion itâs quite good! The only thing that needs an upgrade is the writing, maybe lessen the run-on sentences and try to organize the way of thinking, but other than that I love it! Keep going author!ð
Sweet_Vanilla553
2ã®äººã«ãããã!ãããŸãã
ãããè¿äºã¯ãããŸãããæåã«ãªãã!