First, there are many grammatical errors. I suggest you use Grammarly. It's not perfect, but I think it is enough to fix the majority of the grammatical errors. The interactions between the two (Akira and Shinobu) are lacking. I'm not good at writing reviews, so pardon me. I might edit this review.
Wang_Ling_6598
1の人に「いいね!」しました
いいねWang_Ling_6598:well thanks to this I just got an idea which I will write in this chapter that I will post later