The writing definitely needs improvement as there were multiple basic grammar issues, and a piece of advice, refrain from long paragraphs as webnovel readers despise it. The content and plot is good and all, and I'm definitely looking forward to your work and improvement!
MarixDeax
1の人に「いいね!」しました
いいねHey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.