Great story so far, good grammar, and an original concept when it comes to the powers chosen. Only thing I would change is the spacing bewteen sentences, dont know if it’s just me but when you put a ton of sentences together to form these long paragraphs, I tend to get easily distracted and not very interested in reading all of what’s there. Maybe put 2-4 sentences together then space them out, overall great story.
KeiJu
2の人に「いいね!」しました
いいね