The pacing is extremely fast I fear you might be shedding too much for the sake of pushing the plot. On the other hand tho, I guess that would appeal to today's readers. Downside is that this feels a bit like a barren log of character actions and dialogues, so I wish to see a bit more of meat added.
wookie0_
Liked it!
いいね返事はありません。最初になろう!