Review Detail of armyshope_ in Mafia's Vampire Girl

Okay...So I did a quick read on your first chapter. I really love your vocabulary first of all, you have an open mind when it comes to choosing the right word and it's a great trait to have when writing. However, your grammar could do some work, It's not bad, more like up to scratch, but you could do better in this field. And your story plot is intriguing so I'll give you that, definitely gonna continue this later 👀 Your title is interesting, and that's a plus point which attracts the eye of the reader. Overall, it's pretty good, could do some work here and there but definitely worth giving a try.