The story is good. Something different.
Need some work on sentence construction.
It has potential.
Continue writing, with passage of time your story will become more beautiful.
Thank you. For considering reviewing my "Ideas" or solutions in this time of virtuality, this within the family. A home where everyone learns and teaches at the same time. I will take into account your indications for improvement.
I would appreciate if you forwarded this review to the
OFFICIAL VERSION (Non-Exclusive Contract):
https://***.webnovel.com/book/ideas-that-when-dreaming-awaken!_19254407606949905
Thanks!