Review Detail of ILLYAchan in My Time System

The story is good. It just needs some editing in regards to grammar though I think the author said he's currently working at it. This is only an advice, the first few chapters will be more engaging when there's some bit of narration in between the conversations of the characters. The prologue has too many upper case words though it somehow works out in the next chapter. I think chapter 1's upper case words are good though. (I can hear the main char. shouting in my mind while reading) unlike in the prologue, I feel like skipping the pages. Overall, nice, interesting that needs fixing in some parts. Anyway, Good luck author!