Your narrative choice is excellent. The way you introduced the mc was great and easy to visualise. The description is great and the character of the mc is suiting. The thing I liked the most is the relevance to the title, not many can achieve that. The only problem is that sometimes you make some grammar and spelling mistakes, though those doesn't effect the overall experience.
SnowPenguin
1の人に「いいね!」しました
いいね返事はありません。最初になろう!