Review Detail of SyrnZero in mahouka koukou no rettousei a dating system

Many mistakes I have seen in there. First, the dialog format are very confusing. Don't use script dialog format, use the quotation instead, like this for example. "Hi, I'm a normal person." said someone or you can use light novel format like this. Often used. "Hi, I'm abnormal." He said it. Also, the grammar and anything are bad enough. I can't understand what it saying. I'm not racist to grammar but if it bad, at least make it readable.