Review Detail of daoist_om in Rogue Immortal: Immortal Rise From The Coffin, Back To Zero.

I didn't completely understand what you mean.

for example in chapter 3 you said @This has nothing to do with the ring@ the readers don't need to know that they can find out about it as the story goes the male mc traveled from one world to another so you should what is different from that world to this world you sometimes write she is feeling because of this and that instead try to make her describe why she feels and what she feels and yeah your characters feel like one dimensional because there isn't enough reason to get attached to the characters you should spend some time on characters before going to the story that way we know they feel like write dialogue less and describe more that's it

Ah, I got what you are trying to say. next time use (,)(.),... so I can understand clearly, anyway thanks for pointing my mistakes, I Appreciate it.