Sarthak_Subedi

I love the way the author darkens the world. A new POV in the world of Naruto is certainly not a bad idea as it engages many Naruto fans to read it. As always, I admire the author's writing style. But, despite compliments, there are some criticisms. Like, the chapter length is too much. The pacing is slow, and the author explains every event of Naruto even though it may not be important.

Being familiar with the author's work, I can say that it is different from how his works usually are. The idea of skating used in gang fights is not half bad, but I hope the author prevents flawed world-building and insane plot armours. The initialization of the novel is good. I hope the author keeps it up. I don't seem to have noticed a major flaw in the story, but I can say that the concept of dyna blades is hyped up right from the beginning, which can lead to problems later.

you know what, this ain't necessary at all

So, the concept of the novel gives off a cyberpunk vibe. I like the way the author explains the situation of the world in the story. However, I think such an explanation can wait. Info dumping at the beginning of a novel is not a good idea. No one likes to be dumped with so much info right off the bat. Don't mind, but no one cares about your world unless you give them a reason to. I mean, unless there is a good fanbase or at least interest in readers to know about the world, an info dump is worse. Overall, it is a good concept, but a lot of improvement is required. I read only a few chapters. So, I hope the future chapters make up for this disappointment.

As he closely observed the card. This sentence is incomplete. When you start a sentence with 'As', you have to include a comma to conduct two actions in a sentence.

quieter

The first sentences here are grammatically wrong

I agree with the melodrama part. However, I think the rest of the novel is the best part and enjoyable to read

I mean that you can use AI to correct your grammar after you write

Just read the first chapter. Not a bad story. However, I'd suggest you use Grammarly or some other good AI to strengthen your grammar.