17rapidz

descriptive, emotive language that can improve connections with readers would be good. dont be shy to experiment with comedy other than romance, it lightens the mood well. i think it can go well just need more time for it to grow

descriptive words could be used more, in my opinion, I think emotive language furthers a better connection with the reader so try focus on that. take your time to practice and further it, experiment with different ideas.

I understand what you mean about it. Apollo was surprised because not many shops are targeted in the galactic drug trade. And yeah he does have a mental illness. Let me know if you have any questions hope this helped

thank you!

Decent comedy, good pacing just need to flesh the story out more with imagery

good adding comedy, transitioning between chapters have been improved upon. well done!

good having the flashback, but would like a little more clarity on the chapters (however its early days)

explores the different side of their version of humanity which is good!

use descriptive words more to paint a picture, words indicating speech and " would be better. but overall its an alright chapter, it gets you introduced to it decently

thank you, will keep publishing this!