Elle_9004

Good story keep up the good work..............................................................writing this review for some fp, sorry......................

Nice first chapter and interesting plot, the writing is good to and not hard to understand, keep going, author, don't give up. You've got this! :> ;> :)

the story line seems promising so I'll keep up................................................................................................................

that's a name of a shop that the owner didn't put much thought about..

another comma

that period should be a comma, then the He is lowercase

nice chap, a bit longer though

i find him a bit cocky, is the ml?

*em dash