webnovel
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unknown_00001

unknown_00001

Lv3
2023-07-25 入りましたGlobal
47.4h

読書の

2707

本を読む

バッジ
5
瞬間
92
  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000111 days ago
    に返信 WritingPandora

    although I stopped it, it is still in my sights, because despite its naivety, I really liked your writing, especially the war arc. moreover, I would never have written a review if I didn't like anything in your novel

  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000112 days ago
    発表

    besides my aversion to naive heroes who risk their lives at all costs, the story is good, the narrative flows and can easily convey the desired emotions. however it is not my cup of tea, I stop reading at chapter 14, but for those who like heroes I highly recommend it.

  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000113 days ago
    に返信 DilettanteWriter

    and maybe stop using ChatGPT because, no offense, it's crap.

  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000113 days ago
    コメント

    little advice, drop the overly sophisticated words and the reputations. you have talent for writing if it is not with the help of an AI, and the idea of ​​the novel is just as good, but this torp sophisticated language makes the reading heavy.

  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000121 days ago
    に返信 Kege

    we can put it down to frustration ..... I think? of course only if it's sarcasm and not an insult, well, something like that.

  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000121 days ago
    に返信 Kege

    No, it's me who should thank you, you took my advice into consideration and you weren't offended by my first comment.

  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000121 days ago
    に返信 Kege

    ah I almost forgot, can you change the mentality and personality of the mc because he is a little too heroic and naive for my taste.

  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000121 days ago
    に返信 Kege

    the dialogue seems a bit bland, fast, forced, and without description, for example you can write like this: *''wow, it's magnificent'' I said, really impressed by the view that is offered to me.* you see? something like that, it's neither too bland and forced nor too complex. basically, you go into detail. and don't be afraid to move slowly, since, from my point of view, it's always the first chapters that form the basis of a novel, because, an idea of ​​how to start the story, the background story of the MC, the quality of writing ... etc make the rest come naturally. I hope you get the idea. in short, if you want other advice I can be available.

  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000121 days ago
    コメント

    did you go through a breakup or do you have a problem with your heart, it's fucking annoying. i also advise you to rework the dialogues and the stupidity of the MC

  • unknown_00001
    unknown_0000121 days ago
    コメント

    too fast, you should take the time to describe things a little, and delve a little into Harry's childhood and his personality as well as the other characters. Because, if the writing is too fast, it would be too sloppy