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I’m not too familiar with this genre so I can’t really give a fair critique. What I can say though is that it’s definitely interesting in a good way. There were some punctuation problems but it was still readable. Continue writing!!!

Reminds me of tbate in the beginning, but with the addition of truck kun, how can I not give this a 5? All jokes aside, the pacing is great and the story progression is smooth. I’m still in the beginning but right now it looks great. Keep writing!!! [img=update]

Mericuh 🦅🦅🦅

TRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUCK KUUUUUUUUUUUN MY FAVORITE

The plot is good but it was kinda difficult to read due to the large paragraphs. If I had to give advice, try to separate your dialogue between characters.

Forgot to mention I’m still in the beginning so if you’ve fixed the expressions then very nice 👍

It’s full of suspense and exciting events. Some grammar errors but almost all of the sentences read together nicely. When characters talk, some expression could be used like an exclamation point or question mark, not just a period. Overall very good!

There’s cases in the world where people are easy to win over when they’re given something they lack (like love). Fang is kinda like this, where he’s won over by Salika because she didn’t feel disgusted by him, but also because she gave him a new opportunity to restart.

I noticed this too in my writing but I was unsure on how to fix it. I’l definitely go back and edit with your advice.

Salika definitely has her own reasons for making Fang her servant but I plan on revealing it later when the time is right for the both of them.