NxSyth

The premise is interesting and would have made for a great read if it was not for the use of ai in it's creation, the horribly described scenes with illogical words has turned me from this story. The use of ai has degraded the writting so much so that I couldn't finish a single chapter, author please use your brain and select the appropriate words for each description, avoid describing the tone/ feelings of the charactors and show what they are feeling through action, don't overdescribe, use telling to denote long stretches of time that would have been boring for the reader, only use ai to correct your grammar, otherwise the story will end up feeling like it was written by an idiot with no idea how to use the english language to write a story.

In recent chapters Narcissa’s character has really started to develop, and the way in which the author wrote the newest chapter was exquisite.

The author has introduced some creative ideas into this fanfiction mainly about magic, that has been very interesting to read although the charactors all sound nearly the same, the author should try changing how he/she words things in every charactors perspective, also I think the author's portrayal of Dumbledore is faulty, in this fanfiction Dumbledore sounds like a middle aged man without any of the usual Dumbledore wisdom, the use of ai is destroying the story, the wording is terribly redundant in some areas and reading this awfully bland writing style makes me want to tear out my hair.

I have read from chapter 8-17, the system is simply too overpowered, most charactor interactions are unrealistic, you do some horrible info dumping for no reason, on the topic of brokearge accounts that sounds like an interaction between chatgpt and a person ignorant of brokearge accounts, you could have instead just protrayed the mc as knowing about brokearge accounts or if you wanted to display that the mc wasn't into stocks you could have just had the mc give a partial answer that any common person could have come up with, not realistic at all, also the bullying situation's solution was unsatisfactory. What self respecting bully just apologizes after you beat up just one other bully. Show us their perspective at least, and their reasoning as to why they gave up.

Author “Unkown_To_All” if you had access to a guide on how to create your own writing style so that you are better equipped to write stories, would you read it? I have noticed that there isn’t much information on the basics of how to write, available online.

The writing is great up till chapter 58 but after that too much ai assistance is being used, updating stability has been mostly fine although there has been some instances of instability, the story in general is 4/5 because it is interesting seeing the interactions between Kol and members of the marvel universe, little to no cliches are used, the characters feel a little fake but overall the story was excellent.

Show don't tell isn't the be all and end all of writing, you should use a mix of showing and telling to create a compelling narrative, you should also remember to use simpler words so that a wider audience may enjoy your book. Structure and wording are trash, while the narrative is compelling it doesn't do it for me. If you would like to get better, you should study some novels on Royal Road any of the more popular reads have a masterful mix of showing and telling.

Great concept, I just hate how blatant the use of AI is, the wording and structure of paragraphs are garbage, the cliched motivation of the main charactor ticks me off. If you corrected the horrible structure and wording of the story, then used less generic senarios I might consider reading past the 3rd chapter.

Author here: I would appreciate any criticism you may have so that I can improve my writing and create a great narrative by rectifying any mistakes I might make.