

Inspiration based writer, I tried to publish on amazon first but did not make a single sale, so now I am posting here in hopes to receive comments that will aid in writing the dozen stories I have.
ライティング
読書の
836
本を読む
Ha, I knew it, their the uzumaki sealing chains.
in the chapter 'bath', they first say they would be going to the pool but then go to the bath without explaining why, I had to read the original to find out. This happens many times throughout the story.
There were a lot of chapters that were out of order or skipped ahead. Now that I am reading the original, I can see where you took chapters from the original to use here, but you forgot that you rewrote several things, so it is hard to follow what is happening. The story needs a complete go thru by the author again.
Good, thank you, brother. I have been avoiding thos book because I thought it had NTR. But now that I know it doesn't, I can try reading it.
MC is narcissistic, arrogant, and egotistical. Romance is slow burn, which I like, but the story is fast-paced, and the MC goes around treating the worlds as game worlds and the people like NPC's. If the author made the MC less OP and made him more sympathetic or empathetic, he could have stretched each world transition story by about 20 to 50 chapters. It's good enough to pass the time, but if the story is rewritten, it could become an epic fanfic.
Same title, different author.
The title is the same, but the author is different. For some reason, now I can not access the authors' page.
Yan-jie, protect our brother the witches are at the door.