Satans_Bastard

Punctuation errors abound. Does the author think three dots are a full stop or what? Grammar doesn't work that way. I won't even mention the plot.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM SLAAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .....................................................

I really like the plot, the interaction between the MC and Tom, and the magic, but everything else is so dull, and let's not mention the """"""""""charisma"""""""" this version of Grindelwald has. It's definitely a fun read, though. Will it kill your brain cells a little? Definitely, but it feels so good.

Good plot, extremely poorly executed. Make no mistake, the intro was very good. A fluid and effective account of events in serving as an introduction to the setting, but everything else follows the same style, and that's not how a story works. There are moments to tell, yes, but that alone does not have enough depth to spark the imagination or hold attention. Watching the paint dry would be more interesting than the dry retelling of events that this story is, as if an introduction began and never ended.

Yes, but flaws in the semantics and implicit meaning of the text are better than dealing with many readers who hate AI to the core. And AI is a worse alternative, as it makes the text very flowery and generic, without soul. But hey, your story is yours to tell. If you want to use AI, go for it, but I speak for many when I say I don't recommend it.

Simply write in Chinese and translate it using Google Translate. If you don't use idioms, you shouldn't have much of a problem.

Overall it's not so bad, if you ignore the sharp edges. The dialogues are unnatural, orphaned children who have lived their whole lives on the streets shouldn't react that way, and I'm not even talking about the protagonist. It is normal for the trio that created the Akatsuki to want peace, as it was the war that took everything from them, it is natural that they want others like them not to go through the same. It is unnatural that this same trio, who were raised in a world where child soldiers, assassination and subterfuge are respectable professions, should be shocked by the murder of foreign invaders. Invaders who are most likely considered the source of all problems and difficulties by the people, as the village was repeatedly invaded and used as a battlefield by foreign nations, which is effectively the cause of the destruction of the economy of the rain village, that is, hunger and misery, and the death of countless parents, which probably created very resentful orphans. Let's not mention that one of the invaders had threatened to do very, very, very bad things to who was effectively the closest thing to a mother figure in the trio. If I haven't made myself clear enough, there's no way these three aren't xenophobic enough to not care about the invaders' deaths before Jiraya arrives. The rain village is practically Eden when it comes to how easily xenophobia can flourish. Hell, 99% of the ninja world probably is. Naruto's perspective is too biasedly optimistic and the clues are too much to trust the dangerous, yet dreamlike aura the show gives off. Another much worse thing is that the enemies just stand still while he fights them one by one. That's not how it works and the mistake is even more aggravated when you remember that we're talking about ninjas. Him talking to himself was disturbing, but okay. It's a negative trait of the protagonist, a cartoonish, megalomaniacal part of him, I suppose, but Konan and the others doing the same? It's just weird. These are simply the flaws I saw in the first few chapters, and I truly believe this story could benefit greatly from someone being a beta editor or one edited in the chapters. You should not use AI under any circumstances to do this, of course, the overwhelming majority of Webnovel readers hate stories edited or made by AI and this kind of story is very easily recognizable.

It's a good story, now if the MC would stop talking out loud like a damn idiot I would give it 5 stars... .............. ......................................... ............................. .......................

Lol, I'm giving it five stars just for the boldness, and the most unbelievable thing is that the story isn't even bad. ........................... ............................. ........... .......................................

Damn man, slow down the "...". And paragraphs that are too long are boring to read, but paragraphs that are too small are also not good. The number of updates is quite low considering the ordinary quality.