DaoistpRhzfs
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Has potential. Love your ways of writing. Keep up the good work, I'm sure other people love it as well. Elvan will be proud of you. Wish to continue seeing updates.
I like that you are going through the path of a yandere which gives the story an interesting vibe. But you did not describe the female character or give sufficient reasons why she loves him. I also like the way you tried to describe how magnetic she is but you need you need to try and intrigue the readers.