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CADMUS

CADMUS

Lv11

I publish on Scribble Hub now >> https://www.scribblehub.com/series/825014/the-transmigrated-heir-of-the-dukes-family/

2021-09-04 入りましたGlobal
93.6h

読書の

146

本を読む

バッジ
8
瞬間
560
  • CADMUS
    CADMUSa year ago
    コメント

    same issue, lack a period at the end of the paragraph

    この本は削除されました。
  • CADMUS
    CADMUSa year ago
    コメント

    lacks a period after sorry

    この本は削除されました。
  • CADMUS
    CADMUSa year ago
    コメント

    lacks a period after glasses

    この本は削除されました。
  • CADMUS
    CADMUSa year ago
    コメント

    this story's in 3rd pov, right? if it is, then using "us humans" can be confusing cause that's like in 1st pov. Instead, use "the humans" or "the people"

    この本は削除されました。
  • CADMUS
    CADMUSa year ago
    コメント

    yet life *paid a good joke on them

    この本は削除されました。
  • CADMUS
    CADMUSa year ago
    コメント

    I recommend separating these into short sentences rather than 1 long sentence that's equivalent to a whole paragraph

    この本は削除されました。
  • CADMUS
    CADMUSa year ago
    に返信 DaoistGuHIG6

    Hi! 😃 Thanks for your review, I'm glad that you enjoyed it 😁 I'm guilty of not updating that frequently cause it takes a lot of time for me to write just 1 chapter 😂 (I need to take time to brainstorm plus, depends if l'm in the mood to write) And, I also proofread them before publishing. But I'Il try harder to update more often 👌🏻

  • CADMUS
    CADMUSa year ago
    に返信 CADMUS

    Almost forgot, about your book cover, the art is nice but it looks more like a fan art than a book cover—probably because the book title isn't readable. The book cover is the first thing a reader sees so you have to make your book title noticeable at first glance.

    この本は削除されました。
  • CADMUS
    CADMUSa year ago
    に返信 CADMUS

    UPDATE: There's still room for improvement in terms of writing. Also, I feel like you're too focused on the action (not just the literal fight scenes) but the events I guess? I can't think of a better word for it. I know quite a lot of readers (especially the new ones) like to see actions asap but if you really want to attract loyal readers, I suggest take it slow. Take time in the worldbuilding and make your characters more fleshed-out (Don't make them characters that are just there to highlight the mc's prowess. Make them have more personality, make them have specific traits, or write their backstories to make them feel more alive. Remember that it's not always the protagonist that the readers like/fall for.) Another one, I still suggest to create a separate chapter on the auxilliary volume for your ranking system so that the readers can go there and reread in case they forget something.

    この本は削除されました。