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JWhite_9988

JWhite_9988

Lv2
2020-08-29 入りましたGlobal
-d

ライティング

2.9h

読書の

35

本を読む

バッジ

5

瞬間

14
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99881yr
    に返信 JWhite_9988

    Working on it still. Just going to say loose ends will be tied.

    altalt
    God's Little Helpers
    ファンタジー · JustGoDie13
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99881yr
    発表

    I'm writing reading 4 chapters and have to say I have a hard time putting it down. I love the story, humor, and characters so far. Great read to pass time or simply to have something to read. Sidenote: I see what you mean about spacing sentences. Going to try it with latest chapter of my book.

    altalt
    God's Little Helpers
    ファンタジー · JustGoDie13
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99881yr
    コメント

    All Hail King Rusty!

    Ch 4 It Takes a Lot to Make Camelot Camelot
    altalt
    God's Little Helpers
    ファンタジー · JustGoDie13
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99881yr
    コメント

    I'm definitely getting a Lobo vibe xD

    Ch 2 Up and Moving
    altalt
    God's Little Helpers
    ファンタジー · JustGoDie13
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99881yr
    コメント

    Uh Oh you got some explaining to do lol

    この段落は削除されました。
    altalt
    God's Little Helpers
    ファンタジー · JustGoDie13
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99881yr
    コメント

    I like the start and the characterization

    Ch 1 Down and Losing
    altalt
    God's Little Helpers
    ファンタジー · JustGoDie13
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99881yr
    コメント

    couldn't help but chuckle at this part, in a good way. reminds me a little of someone I know

    この段落は削除されました。
    altalt
    God's Little Helpers
    ファンタジー · JustGoDie13
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99881yr
    に返信 _Rockbison_

    thanks for the review

    altalt
    Mark of the Jackal
    ファンタジー · JWhite_9988
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99881yr
    に返信 JustGoDie13

    Thanks for the review and advice. Should I possibly space it like every two sentences or how would u recommend?

    altalt
    Mark of the Jackal
    ファンタジー · JWhite_9988
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99882yr
    発表

    The story is interesting and adds a twist to the ordinary VR game genre that usually is sometimes generic. I only read the first two chapters but find the story interesting so far. Keep up the good work!

    altalt
    Consume Me In This New World
    ファンタジー · CorwynGentry
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99882yr
    コメント

    Awesome start!

    Ch 1 Consume Me In This New World / Into The Unknown
    altalt
    Consume Me In This New World
    ファンタジー · CorwynGentry
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99882yr
    コメント

    I love the twist you have imagined and I can't wait to continue reading. Anyway, I would possibly try to figure out a way to break this paragraph into seperate ones. Kinda makes the flow of the story differ but not by much.

    この段落は削除されました。
    altalt
    Consume Me In This New World
    ファンタジー · CorwynGentry
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99882yr
    に返信 CorwynGentry

    Thank you for the review

    altalt
    Mark of the Jackal
    ファンタジー · JWhite_9988
    detail
  • JWhite_9988
    JWhite_99882yr
    コメント

    Though I just read the first chapter, I just love the attitude of the Mistress. Continue the good work.

    この章は削除されました。
    altalt
    Myrsha
    ファンタジー · Myrsha
    detail