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NessoftheSNES

NessoftheSNES

Lv11

Fine Arts student. Finally confident enough to write

2020-05-04 入りましたGreece
-d

ライティング

110h

読書の

53

本を読む

バッジ

10

瞬間

16
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES1yr
    コメント

    For someone so well versed in the Homeric epics, and especially the Odyssey, its weird that she doesn't know about the island of the lotus eaters

    "Did we? ...Why?"
    altalt
    Shadow Slave
    ファンタジー · Guiltythree
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES1yr
    コメント
    At the very least, the oil was highly flammable.
    altalt
    Shadow Slave
    ファンタジー · Guiltythree
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES1yr
    発表

    Of course, I can't really talk about story development or characters yet, but nevertheless, the first chapter is really well written, and has very colourful descriptions. It establishes stakes by placing the protagonist at his most powerful and establishing conflict between him and the other sovereigns. The only gripes I have with it, is that maybe the vocabulary used isn't always the most accurate, and the lack or misuse of punctuation marks can make it a bit confusing at times, but these are pretty minor imo. Keep up the good work ^^

    altalt
    ((REPOSTED))嘿
    ファンタジー · WriterTheos
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES1yr
    に返信 Galanar

    I don't talk like this ://

    この段落は削除されました。
    altalt
    ((REPOSTED))嘿
    ファンタジー · WriterTheos
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES1yr
    発表

    Ok, so this is a really well written novel, which is already more than I can say for most novels here. The characters are really compelling, and because of the vibrant descriptions, you can get a very good idea of the world you have been placed in. The only drawback, for me is a bit of bad grammar in the first chapters, but as the novel progresses, it gets fixed. Keep up the good work ^^

    altalt
    Search the same title it's there bruv
    ファンタジー · CovidCandy
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES1yr
    コメント

    i want him to die so much..

    この段落は削除されました。
    altalt
    {{{DROPPPED}}}
    ファンタジー · Sir_Killington
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES1yr
    発表

    The novel is amazing! The writing makes it very easy to lose yourself in the world of the novel, and its characters. The descriptions for every little thing paint a vibrant image of the setting, and the dynamics between characters. The only two criticisms I think im qualified to offer are, first off, the pacing, and second, the character development of the protagonist. The pacing can be slow at times, because of all the descriptions for everything, which are good, on one hand, for reasons i mentioned before, but can drag for a bit long at times. Now the protagonist doesn't seem to have any development. it might be a bit early to say that, as the novel is only 9 chapters, but i felt the need to say it anyway. That's not to say he doesn't have a character, but he certainly isn't experiencing any visible change. These are only minor criticisms though, and don't take out any of the fun in reading the story. It has the perfect mixture of "lighthearted" and "really serious" tone it needs. Keep it up Tоварищ!! (sidenote: i really wanna see Tachibana meet a gruesome end)

    altalt
    {{{DROPPPED}}}
    ファンタジー · Sir_Killington
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES1yr
    コメント

    Cocaine, gatorade, cough syrup, sprite, 2 spoonfuls of nescafe instant coffee, red phosphorus dust and just a pinch of molly for the taste

    Although the taste was far beyond unpleasant, Arran soon discovered that she hadn't been lying about the liquid's effects. His weariness disappeared almost instantly, being replaced by a feeling of boundless energy — along with a throbbing headache and a feeling in his chest that made him fear his heart could explode at any moment.
    altalt
    Paragon of Destruction
    ファンタジー · TomVanDyke
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES1yr
    コメント

    blue sky from Heisenberg's best

    "Take this," Snowcloud said, tossing him a small flask. "It will help you stay awake."
    altalt
    Paragon of Destruction
    ファンタジー · TomVanDyke
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES2yr
    に返信 Kaihwa

    I read that in sco''ish

    'Well, f*ck you too, mate.' Lith thought. 'Diss Lark one more time, and you and I will have a problem.'
    altalt
    Supreme Magus
    ファンタジー · Legion20
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES2yr
    コメント
    He was a man in his mid-twenties, wearing a full black robe that covered his entire figure except for his head and hands. He had long fingers, pitch-black hair and eyes, with some odd black shades that seemed to devour sunlight on contact.
    altalt
    Supreme Magus
    ファンタジー · Legion20
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES2yr
    コメント

    The magic community clearly hasn't read any Kropotkin

    "The magic community is like a separate society, and just like any society, it has a clear hierarchy. First, there are normal people.
    altalt
    Supreme Magus
    ファンタジー · Legion20
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES2yr
    に返信 darktone

    thanks man, appreciated. I'll continue the work once i finish my exams, in a couple months. its a long wait, but i got to..

    altalt
    Medieval Steel
    ファンタジー · NessoftheSNES
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES2yr
    発表

    masterpiece.................................................................................................................................

    altalt
    Demon Lord Cthulhu in another world
    ファンタジー · Acehole
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES3yr
    発表

    The writing starts off great, but after just a few chapters, the translation is so bad it becomes incomprehensible. I really liked it at first. The story i not that bad, its actually kind of original, and i guess the characters are not bad either, but how could i read a book or a novel with such bad writing. Just take example from a fantasy classic, such as 'the wizard of earthsea', or 'the hobbit' and try to match its style. The way to learn to write good is to read a lot

    altalt
    AK - The Alchemy Kingdom
    ファンタジー · DreamWeaverWriting
    detail
  • NessoftheSNES
    NessoftheSNES3yr
    に返信 Smashpillow

    best anime to ever come out. change my mind 🐦🐦 (i just like birds)

    この段落は削除されました。
    altalt
    AK - The Alchemy Kingdom
    ファンタジー · DreamWeaverWriting
    detail