Gavyn_Mack
just average, but I can say I love reading, I mean just look at all those hours.........😁
ライティング
読書の
1915
本を読む
you went into an alternate universe that should have never been seen
this better not turn into a harem
makes sense 😐
sure, I've noticed that you don't use enough pronouns(He, she), which makes reading feel weird and fake in some way. You want your story to flow and connect, which leads to another problem I noticed. you don't use commas, you use periods. when you use periods for everything, it makes your story feel like it's starting and ending over and over again. so try adding more commas.
I finally caught up to the latest chapter, all I can say is that the story is good, but the writing quality isn't. now don't get me wrong, I've seen worse out there, but the writing mistakes are noticeable and numerous. but like I said, this is a good story so, can't wait for more 👍