Np bro ,keep it up !

Kisah cinta yang unik, namun pengembangan cerita nya terlalu banyak, dari romansa pindah ke science fiction. yang penting happy ending cerita nya.

alur cerita berbelok terlalu liar dari cerita awal

ini agak keluar dari alur cerita nya. harapan bersatu dengan Lin2 tidak kunjung tiba

runtutan cerita nya langsung berubah setelah ini. sangat disayangkan....

I like the idea, but the style might be confusing for some people. Read 1-2 chapters and you'll got used of it, so don't worry. Overall, the idea was good and unique like I never see this kind of idea and if I am the author, I won't get any idea as brilliant as this. Keep it up man (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

Well ,now the details was getting better and better man .The thing I said right at the last chapter was about the view details ,and now you've add it with the creatures of the forest and I like it .Keep it up ,I've nothing to say anymore ,it's good (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

I see ,this style seems like script writing for me (actually I didn't really know what's script writing, but I think this style is similar to script writing like for a theater drama show or something ,it's good in my opinion tho) the details of expression is good in this script writing style .Maybe you could add some little view details like the house colour or something (even though this isn't really necessary) but still it's up to your style and keep it up man (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

mantap

Thank you !But if you want to join some contest in webnovel I think it's kinda hard ,especially the contest usually refers to romance with limited themes ,like they have so many requirement that 'maybe' some people felt forced to make the story . It's okay to start here first ,i mean not in contests but in original platform .Hope you doing well (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑ [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

And I love how you could have good chapters titles 😂😂 mine is ruined .And did you ever think of joining a contest one day ,since you couldn't post your novel to the contest (you have to make a new novel for the contest ,sometimes it's irritating) just asking ,don't overdo it ,you can finish this great story first ,but if you're joining a contest then tell me (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

Well you improved ,especially in details . But there still some little miss punctuation like dots or coma and some conjunctions. But other than that it was still interesting, especially with that old clock .Good job man ,keep it up (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

Good luck broo 👐 I know you could do it 👐

O my goooood 😱🥺🥺🥺 thank you soooo much 🥺🥺🥺😭😭 I appreciate it very much maaan 🥺

For advices ,it's already tidy in my opinion .I think instead of - you could use "...." but it's up to you because usually people refers "...." as dialouges . That's all I could say ,you idea is interesting [img=recommend]

Wow this is hella interesting 😆😆 can't wait to see more

Halo kaka ,kapan updatenya ?ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ saya tunggu ya (╯•﹏•╰)[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

Thank you for you suggestions ,I'll try it b cause I'm an author too (hehe I'm still bad at it)

Maybe if everyone are confused to read it ,I could make some small hints . "...." means the characters said it. (...) means they said it in their mind or think . [....] means that there's some magic words or magic screens that appeared . I hope this helps

Ih gileee udh ada ver inggrisnyaaaa [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update] keren kaka !Maaf baru baca sekarang setelah di 'remake' (mungkin ?Karna chapter terbaru sebelumnya udh dihapus). Mangat kaka !Tetep lanjut ya~ (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑ (๑>ᴗ<๑)